From Certainty To Scary
Growing up, marriage and death seemed the two most certain things one cannot escape in this crazy world. Either one is poor like a church mouse or rich as Croesus, marriage was painted to be that one thing every living creature on earth has the right to, and must enjoy/endure at one point or the other. Mostly, I grew up with the notion that marriage is that one institution that gives unbridled joy with no hint of sadness or pain. Well, that's what I believed till I actually did grow up.
On a more serious note, it's so funny how a lot of people confuse wedding ceremonies with marriage. Preparing for a wedding ceremony is incredibly awesome, especially when there is more than enough money to burn. In fact, the days leading to a wedding ceremony are always fabulous, the excitement is practically unmatched. On the day of the wedding ceremony, you grow up with the excitement of a man about to complete one of life's most important tasks. But when the noise and the camaraderie is over, reality hits; that's when you know what's up.
Is Marriage Everything I Thought It Would Be?
Yes, and more. Growing up, I had a lot of married folks around as reference. Some had blissful marriages; some had quiet, uninteresting marriages; while some others had explosive marriages where they spent the better part of their union beating the crap out of each. In fact, I had the "preparing for the worst but still praying for the best" mentality while going into it.
In no time, I quickly realized A lot can go wrong in marriage without you doing anything wrong. It's a union of two completely different people who are trying to grow together, it's never going to be all fun and dandy. So, I already prepared my mind never to be caught out or surprised with whatever happenstance or outcome derived from it.
Is It Worth The Trouble?
As far as I'm concerned, yes, it is worth it. Despite the arguments, bickering, disagreements and all, the best times of my life have been spent with and around my family. That's one of the wonderful things marriage can give - a proper family. Aside from that, marriage has the propensity to help one grow in leaps and bounds.
Growing up, I wasn't the one for sharing things. Each of my things was personal; my spoons, cups, plates, clothes, and even slippers were not for sharing. I had my private space that belonged to only me, no one was allowed to encroach. That was how I stayed till marriage scattered that personal space and broke down those high walls I built around me. It took me a while to adjust to the new reality, but I'm glad I adjusted. It made me see the world in a new light.
As an introverted person, being married can be tough at times. However, the realization that I can't continue to be that quiet, uninterested dude if I want my marriage to work was the turning point for me. Marriage flung at me responsibilities I've always avoided since I was little. It gave me new tasks that I have to man up to. In doing that, I've developed more as a leader, with its impact felt in my decision making. In fact, I'm no longer the shy, quiet dude who allowed everything to pass him by. Now, I'm incredibly vocal.
In conclusion, marriage is blissful when shared with an unselfish and good natured individual. However, those dreams of a wonderful marriage can quickly turn to a very scary nightmare if one is unlucky enough to get hooked to a very selfish and unyielding one. Whichever way it is, marriage will continue to make some people happy while simultaneously giving others the worst nightmares. It gives the best of both worlds.
