At the moment there seems to be nothing but bad news. And the last one hit me quite hard, even though it was not completely unexpected. But this time it's really affecting my wallet and I'm not sure yet how I can cope with the problem. As always, when it comes to money, I'm pondering and thinking, trying to somehow find a way out of the dilemma that's befalling me.
I don't want to go into too much detail, but one of my or our clients, has without any warning, decided to terminate our joint cooperation. The reason seems to be mostly internal problems on the other side, which will now lead to problems on our side as well. The contract year has actually already started but the start of this year's operations has been postponed again and again until it has now finally been completely called off. After many years of successful cooperation, it was a bitter shock and disappointment, especially for me. But sometimes you are at the mercy of the elements and there is simply no way of escaping fate.
I won't be able to replace this job anytime soon, which now gives me unplanned and actually unwanted free time. I can already feel the direct financial impact, although in the end I'll probably be able to cope with it. If I cut back on other things, it will be possible to absorb it, even though I won't be able to compensate for it.
This requires a completely new set of ideas, but at the moment I don't seem to have the necessary inspiration for that. Too much has been going wrong lately and there seems to be no improvement. And there is simply no one who can be blamed for all that trouble, even though that wouldn't change too much. But I do feel the need to let off a little steam, as I've accumulated a lot of stress and feelings, and at some point it all has to come out.
I haven't found the right time for it yet. and I don't want to have a spontaneous and possibly destructive outburst that does more harm than good. Anger can sometimes be useful, but probably only in the right channels, which I now have to find. Not that in the end there will be even more damage to complain about and to fix.
I don't really know what to do at the moment and I will probably let everything sink in for a few days. Hopefully it will help a bit that I could at least write a little bit of my frustration off my chest. Actually I rather want to scream, but I guess I better save that for tomorrow.