I am about to become very unpopular. The Democrats, lefties, and progressives are presently enthralled in a very big and very important discussion about sexual misconduct. This discussion is extremely important and has implications for our culture both within and without the workplace. Unfortunately, but predictably, the discussion has taken a real swerve and is being diverted into a space where it’s most fanatical and reactionary impulses are threatening to sabotage the entire discussion and alienate huge swaths of the country (or maybe just me). So to start the fireworks: Al Franken didn’t do anything wrong.
Al Franken, currently being forced into a real life Stuart Smalley moment, was on a USO tour more than six years ago. He was volunteering his time and talents along with a host of other major and minor celebrities to provide entertainment and relief to our troops. Kudos to him, Leeann Tweeden, and everyone else involved in the tour…I’m sure the troops appreciated your efforts. By now you know that Leeann Tweeden has come out and told anyone that will listen about the mischief Al Franken got up to on this tour. Al was not a senator at the time and according to Tweeden he was her co-MC (in her written statement she takes pains to say he was the headliner but she only refers to him as her co-MC in her numerous on-air interviews). Point being, Franken was there because he was a comedian. He was there to make jokes.
In her “matter of fact,” popular girl from high school fashion, Tweeden retells her tribulations from the USO tour in every forum that will have her. I have counted at least 8 different venues where she has retold the story of her being assaulted by Franken; quite a prodigious effort on her part to get the word out seeing that she only made it public two days ago. She is doing her part to warn women about the threat that Franken poses to the women of this nation. And her warning is dire: Franken is a shitty kisser and if you fall asleep in a plane filled with other people and a photographer, Franken may try to get a gag picture of him pretending to grab your tits. Tweeden says this has traumatized her for 11 years. Who the fuck is Tweeden and WTF does this have to do with anything?
Leeann Tweeden is currently a news anchor in LA and that at the time was “a TV host and sports broadcaster, as well as a model familiar to the [soldiers] from the covers of FHM, Maxim and Playboy.” Now before you get all “there he goes blaming the victim by bringing up her modeling background,” that is not what I am doing. That is in quotes because it is taken from her statement. I do, however, think it is relevant because it strains credulity that as a former cover girl for FHM, Maxim, and Playboy and masturbatory model for our brave men and women in the armed forces, the most egregious conduct she experienced from my vile gender was Al Franken’s amateurish plot to kiss her and the photo of him pretending to grab of her boobs.
I guess it’s now trendy for women to post “Me Too” on their social media if they have been subjected to sexual misconduct. Tweeden posted the “Me Too” hashtag on her social media a week or two ago in reference to this incident being her “Weinstein” moment. Am I the only one that looks at her story and thinks “‘Me Too’… really? How about ‘Me kinda, in a third or fourth cousin sorta way'”? And I am not excusing Al Franken’s conduct. If what he did was unwelcome (and I am sure it was, I mean look at him and look at her…nobody wants Al Franken to kiss them) he was wrong and should have apologized. Which he has, which Tweeden has accepted, and so lets all move on right? No.
Does his conduct warrant this degree of scrutiny? Here is a little exercise for all the wing nuts that are calling for Franken’s head to roll: take a piece of paper and make some columns. The header for the columns will start with Al Franken, Bill Clinton, Harvey Weinstein, Roy Moore, Kevin Spacey, Bill O’Reilly, etc. etc. Then fill in the column with the details of each and every allegation made against the person. Include any mitigating factors, exacerbating factors, you get the idea. Then harken back to your Sesame Street days and play the “which one doesn’t belong” game. There will be at least one and maybe two columns that should safely be shuffled off to another part of the board. As long as Tweeden’s story is the only serious blemish against Al Franken, I have no problem telling my boys over at Crooked Media (@CrookedMedia, @PodSaveAmerica, 
I haven’t lost any respect for Senator Al Franken because of this. I have read about the hard work he put in to really changing as a person when he decided to run for the Senate because he wanted to be a serious Senator. If anyone has watched his career since being elected he has proved that is just what he is: a serious Senator. And he is one of the good guys. He is one of us that looks at the conduct of these men that use their positions and power to serially threaten, coerce, and cajole women and that engage in disgusting sexual misconduct and regardless of political persuasion wants them to held to account.
Franken has gotten heat for his initial statement in response to Tweeden’s disclosure. I am sure that every bastard of the likes of Weinstein, O’Reilly, and Moore has thought out their response and statement in anticipation of being called out. I guarantee that when this came out Franken wasn’t prepared for it because I am sure he had forgotten about it. He would have been justified if his initial public statement was simply: “Seriously?” And this is an important point. Conflating Tweeden’s story with those involving the big guys undermines the importance of the discussion and undermines the credibility of its fiercest proponents. Just as the most extreme examples of political correctness have resulted in a backlash, conflating demonstrably different degrees of inappropriate conduct threatens to overshadow what is an important discussion. The tone of this entire piece is absolutely a reaction to my disbelief that Al Franken was being crucified and how ridiculous it appears to me when one compares the conduct. When these debates are driven off a cliff they become the target of trolls because the trolls see just how out of whack they are that because they are off the rails they no longer have the benefit of moral authority.
And remember at the beginning of this piece I said “[t]he Democrats, lefties, and progressives are presently enthralled in a very big and very important discussion.” I left out the Republicans and conservatives because they aren’t participating in the same discussion we are. We think this is a national discussion. It isn’t. We (everyone from the center and leftward) are talking about this with the goal of fixing the problem. They (everyone right of the center and rightward) aren’t having this discussion. They are perfectly content to see us perform ritual seppuku when we drive out the likes of Al Franken and they marginally criticize the guys on their team whose conduct is grossly disproportionate. You think that Mitch McConnell’s interest in opening an ethics investigation into Franken is because McConnell seriously thinks Franken is a pervert? Or is it because McConnell can’t believe his prayers were answered for a Democrat to be exposed? And our failure to defend Franken has now created the perfect foil for Republicans. You can persecute and demand the resignation of a distinguished senator for harmless conduct that we would expect from an immature teenager because the champions of the cause have said that harmless conduct is comparable to child molestation and sexual harassment. And yes, what Franken did was harmless. I do not believe Tweeden was as traumatized as she claims and I question her motives for bringing this issue up. I am a progressive liberal who is mortified by the conduct being revealed. But what Al Franken is being accused of is not the same thing.
I am a white man with an opinion that decided to stop walking on eggshells around this issue when the proponents drove the family wagon towards the cliff. So If you are angry with my opinion on this…suck it up…I’m a participant in society and you need to learn how to deal with opinions that contradict yours. Its part of being an adult.
