When I was a child ,one vivid memory stands out in my mind. It was the first day I started a new school after my mom and I moved back to her hometown due to work and family-related issues. I have no recollection of my previous school, but this new school experience has stayed with me.
As my mom went to the management office, I was directed to one of the classrooms upstairs. I recall feeling nervous as I climbed the stairs and suddenly found myself in an unfamiliar environment with new faces all around me. However, my thoughts quickly turned to my stomach as I realized I was hungry. I had some money with me that my mom gave me, and I felt an urge to buy a snack.
During break time, I followed the other students outside and eventually found some kids buying snacks. After satisfying my initial hunger, I continued to feel the pangs of hunger and felt lost and alone without my mom by my side. I remember staring at a fancy clock in the middle of the school and playing with some flowers out front while waiting for something to happen.
When the bell rang, the other kids rushed back to class, and I followed them, still feeling lonely and longing for my mom's return. Eventually, the bell rang again, and some kids left the school, while others went to different rooms downstairs. A teacher, known as the matron, showed me to a bed space and told me to put my bag beside it.
It was at this moment I realized I won't be going home and mom won't be coming back for me - at least for now.
its a damn boarding school
As a young child, I was sent off to a boarding school (and it took a while before I realized that I wouldn't be going back home until holidays)when I was just 3 or 4 years old.
I remember feeling alone and hungry, with a deep longing for my mother's warm embrace. The matron instructed me to check one of the bags(left by mom while I was probably in class) for clothes to change into, as I was wearing the school uniform.
After quickly changing into a fresh set of clothes, I returned to the clock. It was now more silent and it entertained me for what felt like an eternity.
It was during these solitary moments that I became aware of myself in a way that I had never experienced before. It was as if a flashlight had lit up inside me, allowing me to feel every vein in my body.
Despite being alone, I didn't feel lonely. I found solace in the stillness and peace that surrounded me, and it was here that I began to reflect on my surroundings and myself.
Thinking about that experience now, I realize that I still appreciate the unique perspective that solitude can bring.
As the time for dinner approached, the matron directed me to follow the other children to the next apartment.
I was grateful for the opportunity to satisfy my hunger, but I also realized that being alone had allowed me to reflect and adapt in a way that other children, who cried and became sick because they couldn't cope, couldn't.
Looking back, this experience was my earliest childhood memory and had a profound impact on my life. It taught me the importance of self-awareness, adaptability, and the beauty of solitude.
Although it was a challenging experience at the time, it helped shape who I am today, and I am grateful for the lessons it taught me.
all images are taken by me
