As I would always say ...
It was a gloomy day, you can see the birds nesting,chirping and making musical sounds from the branches of the tree. With the wind so calm that you can barely feel it if not for the chills it brings , cold yet relaxing. Though loving the serenity, couldn't shake off the feeling , as the meteorologist would call it "The Peace before a Storm".
There I was coming back from a friend's as there was no class due to the present shutdown ongoing in my school caused by student protesters as regards school Management inefficiency. I was contemplating on either staying in school all through out the period of the shutdown or better yet go back to my hometown. Two weeks is already gone in the course of the shutdown, no definite date yet for resumption. I was caught in a dilemma as the shutdown could be raised at any time which implies that my going home wouldn't be productive and at same time, it could as well last for a while which implies staying at school may likely be a waste of time and resources. WHAT DO I DO ?
A great man once said " There's no such thing as indecision, because indecision in itself is a decision".
It's a risk going home and the shutdown is called off almost immediately,as it will incur more expenses and less productivity. Being tempted by the notion, WHAT IF? can be so haunting. Not knowing what to do, if to make a move or stay put. it's easier to make a decision when the outcome is certain or at least it's level of certainty is higher than it's negating probability .
There and then,I made a decision. It's better to act than being acted upon, what's the worst thing that could happen? As a music artist Burnaboy once said " how bad could it be ? ". I took it upon myself to make the move for it cause if it's to be it's up to me. It's better I go and become productive than stay awoke doing nothing , expenses is just money but time once lost is irredeemable .
leaving for my hometown was daring and almost impromptu as no one was aware of my coming back home. I left in the evening, got home really late in the night ( my knack for night travels might just be the end of me🤦🏼♂️). The journey was peaceful and my arrival quiet, just as I liked it to be. The days that followed were less productive at first, disappointing so to say but hopeful. Two days into, the resumption date was presumably postponed which got me elated and glad of my decision. As it means more time which gives a sense of possibility of good tidings.
All of that excitement got faded off at the end of the week. it was disappointing to say the least when at the end of the week , there still was nothing worth showing forth. Payout was low, less sufficient but the only thing that kept me going was the thought of me attaining freedom from my boss soon.
I'm back in school now,going down the past 2 weeks spent in my hometown I'm forced to question myself if the decision I took was good or bad or rather if the outcome was worth it . I had actually thought it was a bad move going back home or better put a wrong call on my part as I came congested with a lot of assignments to do within a short period of time .
It's been over a week now, with all the pressure down the drain . Presently open enough to think rationally, it finally dawned on me that what I deemed as a bad decision wasn't really that bad at all . The result may seem bad which made me qualify my decision as bad . In other words,if the aftermath was directly in line with my expectations, I would have said i made the right call in going back home but since it was otherwise hence my previous mental note.
This prompted the thought, a decision being regarded as good or bad is subjective to every individual and conditioned ( tied) to the aftermath of the decision. If we understand this fact, the fears and anxiety attributed to making decisions would be easily nullified. I've seen or heard people cast blames, they blame situations, they blames circumstances, they blame others and more often blame themselves for whatever decision that have brought them thus far . They fail to realize that their decisions weren't really all bad as they think , the circumstances weren't just really favorable at the long run .
A decision has brought some up in life either financially or otherwise, and that same exact decision brought someone else down financially . It's funny, tricky yet real how two people can decidedly do a particular thing or go a particular place or ask a particular question or generally make same decision in a particular aspect or field but end up differently, One better off than the other . It doesn't actually make the decision wrong or right , it just depends on the circumstances, situations and happenings surrounding each individual independently influencing the aftermath of the decision .
Decision on its own is neutral, void of any notion, independent of any outcome. it becomes termed or regarded as either bad or good subjectively by the individual depending on the aftermath .
Life is too broad, vast , intertwined to qualify the authenticity of a decision entirely by itself.
With this paradigm shift, I'm more refined and open minded to possibilities. Confident on myself and my ability to make rational decisions and not judge my ability based entirely on the outcome . I believe some have gotten to this phase, others are and more will . until we all are fully refined in these aspects, then life wouldn't be seen as complicated as it seems .
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