My mom happens to be the strongest person I know, no, no one call tell me otherwise, she's the type to show up even when its not convenient for her, she would have wake up even before the cock crow, she would lay her hands on heads to pray and speak good things into our lives early in the morning, she would be out for the chores, to cook, to get us ready for school, to help her husband prepare for work too while still preparing her goods for hawk.
But, as we all know, strength don't last forever, we won't be ever young and the strength will not always be there, it was when all this starts and the reality sets in that we began to understand love, and that helped us love her...differently, the kind that sacrifices quietly, patiently, and consistently.
I would say being able to care for aged parents is a blessing, though not easy, same way you care for new born babies. We were told honor and care for our parents but we were not told the deep things, things like, they won't be as before anymore, you will be the one doing most things for them, they won't always remember certain things. It is until then you will find out that the woman who you once ran to is now the one you walk beside slowly because her knees can’t hold her up like before. And, that is the reality.
The biggest challenge for us was adjusting, not that we are lazy but we've been so used to her doing all sort of things for us...cooking, praying, cleaning and and all for us, but reality sets in via old age and we had to step into her shoes, those shoes of hers took time to fill our tiny legs. There are time's we get angry at the way things are and its something we can't fix, aging can't be fixed, we can only love through it.
So, we tried sharing the responsibility, but that a also wasn’t so smooth. My brother and I are in school, some had families, some were in other cities. That way, it tells on us and our academics, It became hard for one person not to feel like they were carrying more weight.
One evening, after a small disagreement, we all sat down and talked, we just let out our minds and had a one on one talk, we agreed on a plan and that's it, we take time to care for her, we rotate hospital schedules, some handled groceries and prescriptions, and the rest rotated time with her. We didn't leave her out as well, she was included, she's not just a patient but our mother. She's happy knowin that she's being of help as well.
There’s joy in all of these too thoughx, the joy of seeing your mother attaining old age, the joy of seeing and making her laugh, the joy of holding her hands, the joynif being of help to her, the joy of seeing how the woman who once gave us everything now receives our love as a reward. Even if all she can say now is ....God will bless you, am okay with it.
Love doesn't need to be loud, its in those little things we do, running errands for her, cooking, massaging her tired legs, listening to repeated stories over and over again, love is in every single time we've been there and done something for her, even if it's little. Recently, I told my mum and dad to dress up, as I would love to take pictures of them together, she was so happy that she quickly went in to bath and change her clothing, she felt seen, that's part of love and care.
Please do well to honor your parents, if they are gone, may their beautiful soul rest in perfect peace. Don't wait till they are too weak to notice, don't wait till they are gone and start spending huge amounts on their burials bthst you've never spent for them while they are alive. Make the calls, send the gifts, tranfer that little you have, visit them, surprise them and learn to always thank and appreciate them, cause one day, it will be you in their shoes, and your children will be the one to also do dsme unto you.
Acts of love will always speak louder than tributes, it is not just seen but felt and touched. If you are caring for aging parents, I know it’s not easy. May God continue to strengthen and bless you.
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