Well, considering the type of neighbor I have, don't be surprised if I grew up to be over 250years of age. Her name is Mama Dara, but everyone calls her FM radio. This woman knows every single thing that's happening in the country, she knows how Mama Kay's daughter got pregnant, she knows who our governor did a closed door meeting with. It was from this woman I heard our landlords blood group from.
When you talk about gossip, come and call his woman, just don't let her know your name, she will do her findings and make sure to know where you hail from, who your sister is, how your moms sister divorced her husband and all. There was a day when I bought cold sachet water to drink because I was so thirsty, I washed my face with it too, before I got home this woman had told everyone I fainted. Me, fainted? Just imagine.
And you can't argue with this woman, she will never give in, arguing with her is like trying to convince a he goat to register for jamb. Also, this woman can borrow enh, she will borrow from you and still badmouth you. She can come borrowing sugar from you and tell the next door neighbor she asked for 3cubes and you gave her 1 whereas she saw your sugar pack and it was still newly cut. There was a day like that she came to borrow groundnut oil from me, when she came back, I taught she wanted to return the remaining, guess what, this woman came with the story of her life.... "......am sorry, it was Dara that mistakenly poured it all, next week abeg, I go buy you another." That happened early this year, I'm still waiting for her next week.
And she's not the type to borrow something and return it immediately, until you need it and go to knock on her door, if she tell you she's coming that she will bring it herself, just jejely(quietly) leave home, cause the next thing you will hear is a shout...., ..."I dun bring your iron o, no be say I wan chop am and ano thief am, abeg." I don't know or understand the kind of human she is.
And this woman, don't even allow her be in any gathering, cause she will be the one to save and implicate you at the same time, we had a meeting some weeks ago, two women began to fight and she quickly jumped in, shouting, "it's okay, it's okay, you both are old now." After a few minutes that everywhere had died down, guess what she said..., "wait o, no be you her daughter abuse in the yard yesterday, calling you names..." Before she landed, this two women had started again. She looked around, tightened her wrapper and left.
Lastly, don't go near her daughter, if she finds out you toast her daughter or you are eyeing her, she will abuse you with even the things you don't know about in your family. She will tell you the story of your generation, tell you your father's salary, the kind of soap your mum uses in bathing.
Living next to he is fun, there's never a dull moment when she's around, I am mostly indoors, but still, I laugh a lot in the corner of my room. There are times I just stand by my window to be able to get the full episodes and not just listen to the audio only.
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