I.
I wouldn't want to beat around the bush.
But then, thanks a lot for this wonderful topic in such a time as this. It's men's health awareness month and we are glad you see us. Thanks a lot.
I very well believe that the society itself has created certain expectations around men that makes it difficult for a lot of us to speak out and talk about our struggles, challenges and all. Just the other day a woman was telling her son in Yoruba, "shey okunrin ko ni e ni." Meaning, are you not a man. And I just felt bad, allow this man to talk, allow him to bottle out all that he's already bottling in, but then, that's how we're being told right from time, "man up." You can't just afford to be vulnerable, nah, you can afford to act or look weak. And for that reason, a lot of us has learned to hide our pain, struggles and all behind a smile and,"I'm fine."
Men are humans too. We are humans too, in fact we are humans first before we are men, so we should be allowed to talk about our heartbreak, disappointment, fears, exhaustions and all just like every other person. And the reason you see a lot of us keeping quiet is because we tend to see them less of man if they should speak up.
Our society needs to be more of a listener than a critic. The hime itself should learn to start raising sons who understands that they are not weak for voicing out. We should create safe spaces for each other and allow one another to be human.
II.
For this, I think both we the men and the society which we find ourselves should take that responsibility. We both have a role to play in this stigma. You want us to speak up, yet the society and environment which we find ourselves is one that constantly judges you, is one that expects you to bottle in whatever it is you're facing, it's one that feels a man should never even show vulnerability not to talk of cry.
For us to feel safe to talk and voice out, then we need a safe environment first. And a lot of things need to change, like I was saying earlier, the home needs to start teaching that vulnerability is not weakness, when that change comes from the home and the society has also created a safe space, then there will be obvious changes.
One of the way to do this and support one another is by checking on each other, don't always rush to your bros DM for urgent 2k, learn to ask how they are doing, learn to ask how there day went, learn to listen to them. There's one thing I'm learning at the moment and that's listening skill. Yeah, listening is a skill that we all should learn, it helps in relationships, business.... Name it.
Most men have reached their breaking point already, and the outcome of the state they are in isn't in any way good. No man should get to that stage. Men deserve care and support too.
Topic idea; Why do many people care more about a man's success than his wellbeing?
Take mic abeg 🎙️🎤
🏃🏃🏃 Like this rain dinnor want me to go to work 😃
RE: Sam’s Hangout #117 - “MASCULINITY & MENTAL HEALTH”