Markets in Nigeria is not for the weak, most times when you tell someone you are going to the market you here them say it playfully that, "don't fight o." When you go to the market you go prepared as if you are going to eat. You go holding your purse or wallet tight, and with a kind of face that shows, I mean business, and am ready to bargain to any length." On this particular day, I went to buy some little things...pepper, Maggi, onions and those small things. But, I never knew the devil had other plans.
The moment I entered the market, I was greeted first with the noise...
“Fresh tomato, fresh pepper, fine boy come and buy...."
I moved close to one of them, but then he said, "Oga you sabi, buy fresh pepper wey go pepper your enemy..."
And me, I was like...."Pepper wey go pepper my enemy, as how, na my enemy wan chop am..."
I left his side without buying anything, other sellers began to call me, some were even dragging me like I came to spend some foreign currency.
I squeezed my purse that houses my only ₦3,200 I had on me tightly, that's was the only money I had on me....to purchase what I want and to transport myself back home.
I stopped at one mama’s stall, she's old, so I believe she would be kind and considerate.
“How much for this small basket of pepper?” I asked.
She looked me in the eye and hissed as if I had insulted her.
“Where's the small basket...?" she asked as if she doesn't know which I'm referring to, then she said, *"Oga, it's ₦1,600, if you wan buy, buy no disturb me.” she added.
I was confused, what have I said, is she angry before, well...shes old, I gave her that respect. I calculated what I had on me, it wouldn't do, I need to bargain with this woman. My mother had always told me to never accept the first price from a seller, so I smiled at her and said, “Mama, abeg, make I pay ₦1000.”
My dearest reader, that was where everything scattered.
The woman dropped her purse, stood up, tightened her wrapper and held her waist as if ready for a fight.
“You mean..? Everybody come to my aid o, customer say pepper wey I buy ₦1,300, make I sell give am ₦1000!"
Attention was already drawn to us, everybody was staring at me like I came to the market to steal pepper. I looked at the woman and said, "Mama, calm down na, just tell me you can't sell for that price, what's the shout for....”
Maybe I had said too much.
"Na your pastor for church dey shout, do I look like your church member, abi I dey fo giveaway for here." She said.
While escaping, another seller grabbed me by the hand. “Fine boy, come, I go do you well, how much do you want?"
This time around, I behaved myself. “₦2500, all together” I whispered to her. She smiled and poured pepper into a nylon, picked Maggi cubes, onions and all, then she gave it to me.
I felt it with my hand and it felt somehow, the nylon was unusually light as well.
I opened and checked, and saw just six pieces of tomato. Just six pieces.
“Mama, what is this?” I asked. She looked at me, smiled and said, “Na economy o, my son.”
Before I could talk again, one man begging for alms spoke out, “Oga abeg, if you don't want, give me make I carry am go house. GOD will bless you”*
Everyone who had him speak burst into laughter, including the woman selling pepper. How could she sell this amount of pepper and only put six tomatoes. Well, at that point I knew I had lost this war, no more going back and forth.
I carried my nylon and went my way. On getting to the bus park, I wanted to pay for my transport home. I dipped my hand inside my pocket… and guess what?
When I alighted. I had given the conductor ₦500 instead of ₦200, you know the most funniest part, I thought I had given him a ₦100 note. Reason is that, all I had left in me was ₦700, one ₦500 note and two ₦100 note. I saw him smiling and waving at me and didn't know why. By the time I noticed and wanted to shout, the bus had already gone.
I was supposed to take a bike from where I highlighted to my home, but I couldn't. What I had left on me is below the charged price. I trekked all the way home. Forgot to add that my mum came around, and it was a weekend, when I got home and told her what happened, she just laughed and said, "That's why I said your younger sister should come and be staying with you."
As how na🥹
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