Laugh out your worries part 6: Cashless movement, How to make cool cash in my country
Am back again dear friends and fellow comedians of comedyopenmic community. Hoping that we are fine and safe wherever we are, am going to show you all my followers how to travel miles without cash and without transferring a dime to the driver.
Base on the recent cashless policy in Nigeria my country, I found myself in a hot pot of soup today. What do I mean? Keep reading to know and to understand.
Ever since this cashless policy started in my country, I haven't experienced the type of bankruptcy I experienced yesterday. Yes, when I woke up yesterday, I checked my bag and saw only but 500 NGN, honestly, I was amazed at that. I went to series of POS operators in hunt of cash but didn't find any because they too are facing same bankruptcy. So, I decided to visit bank since I got information that they are dispensing some little amount of cash to people.
My people, at this point, I felt so hungry and I have only but 3 cups of rice. Anyway, I must first feed my body before any other thing. With that in mind, I bought things like tomato, crayfish, onion , pepper and seasoning cube to prepare the rice. But the question now is this: How will I be able to transport myself to the nearest bank since am cashless and can't transfer with my device? As an African babe, I recruited an idea, scrutinized it, and gave in to it.
I dressed up with my bag as if I have much but dropped my phone at home. Boldly, I boarded tricycle going straight to the bank. When I reached, Boldly, I asked the driver to stop. When I alighted from the vehicle, I opened my bag as if I have cool cash inside the bag. Next, I shouted: Ahhhhh, what? it's like I've forgotten my money at home!. The driver came down from his seat, walked towards me to really understand what I mean. Before reaching, I've already turn my bag upside down. The only thing he said is : "witch, it will not work for you". Then, he turned and drove off.
Hahaha, 🤣😂 sharp babe!. I walked inside the bank, they gave me number 150, then I joined the queue. I spent above 5 hours inside bank just to return home without cash because, they told us that they've exhausted their money. Hmmm, I looked up and down, what else will I do? As hot and sharp babe I am, I boarded another tricycle to the junction closer to my house. Immediately I alighted from the tricycle, I embraced and opened a new drama series. When I opened my bag, I kept myself busy searching as if am searching for money. The driver said: Woman, what is withholding you? give me my money nau**. I ignored him. Then, he came down to meet me, maybe, to hold me. But, as a beautiful guy lady I am, I started shouting and crying to the extent that people noticed my tears and came around.
They started asking, please, how much are you looking for? Did you give out your handbag to someone to hold? To avoid lying, all I kept on saying is this: Am just coming back from bank oo and can't find my money ooo. Hahaha, did I lie? No. At the middle of the scene, the driver took off and a good Samaritan took me home with his Jeep. When I was about to alight from his car, he gave me 5k to manage.
Hahahaha, so, I now have 5k in my house! just like that. It's like I will perform another drama within the week. This time, in a different location. Dear reader, what's your suggestion? Should I move on?
The lesson
In whatever you're doing, immediately one door closes, look for another door or window. But, mind you, am not asking you to steal other people's property to make ends meet.