Dreaming About My Cottage (Again)

I'm not happy about this long break from posting. I really enjoy posting on Hive and it also helps me a lot. But sometimes the inspiration isn't there and work has also been very busy lately, and sadly that affects my whole life a lot. I don't want to give all of my energy to my work but I still have a hard time to simply just don't care.

I'm currently on some semi-break though and spending some time at my mom's. I hadn't left Stockholm since I came back there after my summer holidays and I kind of felt that I'm missing the whole beautiful autumn season. But luckily it's still on 🙂 I'm always so amazed by (and also a bit sad about) the fact that I always feel how tense my body is once I actually leave Stockholm. It becomes so obvious to me that I'm not able to relax in my own home.

I have been back there for a year now and I have really been trying to do what I can to have a better experience this time. But I can't shake the feeling that I don't want to be there. It's just not the right place for me. And I think one year is enough time to try to make something work. So well, where will I move? I guess I have to wait and see for some time since I'm not vaccinated and in many countries, it's not really possible to do much at all then. In Sweden, at least there are no vaccine passes, at least not yet.

Maybe I'll finally take the step and start to invest in my (future) cottage next year. I have been hesitating for years since I can't imagine myself living there full-time. So it seems like a rather expensive personal 'retreat' for me and also a lot of work. But well, every time I spend some time there, I just enjoy it. I feel so connected. At ease. There's definitely a feeling of abundance there. And I don't have that feeling a lot. But then I start to second guess myself. Thinking it's just some unrealistic dream I have. That I actually could feel happy there. And I'm worried I would spend all this money on something just to find out it was a mistake.

But then I also start to think. What is life if you don't take any risks? After all, there is so much I want to experience in my life and it will not happen if I just stay where I'm and live in my current status quo. I'm not saying I haven't taken any risks so far in my life. Quite the contrary I would say. I guess it's just time to remind myself not to stop. And to start to feel again that there's still time. It's not too late. (Yes I have experienced some mid-life crisis I guess, it was not easy to turn 40).

As some of you might remember my mom also has a house close to where my cottage is. And yesterday we went there to measure the future bathroom. Tomorrow we have an appointment with a bathroom planner and I'll help mom to design the bathroom. I'm quite excited about this and also the fact that there will be a bathroom in that house. It will definitely make it easier for me to spend time there.

I'm actually also really looking forward to the fact that I will (hopefully) have completed a comprehensive coach training by the end of the year. It's been 2 years of really hard work and hopefully, I'll start to reap the rewards. I'm also looking forward to how much time this will free up for me. So I know, I'm moving forward with my life and plans more so than I actually acknowledge. I just feel it's time for me to take the next step. I'm actually well prepared and I have been working towards changing my life for a long time already.

Change doesn't happen overnight, it's a process, and it usually takes time. For some major changes in my life though, I really start to feel the big shift is approaching and I just need to remind myself of that. And to be prepared to receive and see all the opportunities that present themselves.

I'm also well aware I have some limiting beliefs that hold me back. At least I know what I have to continue to keep working on. But that's just life and deep down I know I have the capacity to have everything I want. The biggest obstacle is my mind and my mind is also my greatest asset. In a way, you simply have to love that fact. Life sure gets easier that way.

Thanks for reading 🌸

Love and blessings to you all 💚