After dinner was one of my favorite times of the day. It was peaceful and quiet and we sat together in our large family room and we would just be ourselves and enjoy each other’s company. In the fall and winter, we might have a cozy fire going. In the spring and summer, my mother would open the French doors leading to the patio so we could enjoy the cool evening breeze coming in off our screened-in porch.
Sometimes after dinner, we would watch TV but when it was my turn to pick what we were going to do for the evening, I usually chose to read passages from the Bible or Christian stories. Sometimes I would read to Mother and sometimes she would be the reader. And, especially when Dad got home, I would suggest that we just talk about our feelings and thoughts about Christianity and the Lord. I always made sure dad was home before I suggested having such conversations because I could always tell that mother was a little uncomfortable when we got into in-depth discussions about religion in general and Christianity in particular.
But we weren’t serious all the time. Don’t think that for a moment! My mother and I had favorite TV shows we liked to watch. And they weren’t all religious shows. We liked to watch American Idol together and usually had the same favorites who we were rooting for.
Sometimes when Dad got home really late – 8:30 or even 9 o’clock – I’d get to stay up a little longer than my usual nine o'clock bedtime so I could spend some time with my dad. I always loved hearing about his day—the problems he had to deal with as well as the funny things he would relate to us about his clients and his employees. My dad was a great storyteller.
After dinner on the day I had asked my mother how Pastor Shelton had been chosen by God, Mother and I decided to read from the Bible and as I turned the pages to the spot where we had last left off, I had another question for my mother.
"Mother, what if there is more to Christianity than what Pastor Shelton is teaching us?"
Mother frowned that little frown that told me she was irritated by the question and the subject that I was trying to bring up. Her look said, “Let’s not go there, Aysha!”
"Why have you been so curious about Pastor Shelton lately?" she asked.
"I feel like something is missing in his sermons. You ever notice how many people are doodling, whispering, passing notes, even sleeping and just generally goofing off when Pastor Shelton is preaching?”
“Well, Aysha, I’d say that the sin is on those people’s shoulders. They are acting out of their own free will, and just as your dad and I always tell you, people are responsible for their own actions. It’s not Pastor Shelton’s fault if they don’t pay attention to his preaching. All the man can do is try to spread the word of the Lord.”
I could see that my mother’s first instinct was to be quite defensive of our pastor but I was happy that she was at least willing to discuss the points that I was bringing up.
“You know the old saying, Aysha? You can bring a horse to water but you can’t make him drink.”
I nodded “yes.” And I knew immediately where she was going. But then another thought occurred to me.
“But mother, doesn’t the man leading the horse to water have to bring him to the best-tasting water and convince him it is good for him to drink?”
Mother smiled, looking a little stunned. “You are a smart little girl, Aysha. You must have a great teacher!”
We both had a good laugh at that. But she was right. I did have the best teacher in the world. I may have inherited my quick wits from my dad, but it was my mother who, as she put it, taught me to channel it.
“But being serious, Aysha, all Pastor Shelton can do is teach the Word of God, he can’t make people listen if they choose to ignore him. So the people have to do their part, too. Honey, they have to open up their ears and hearts and listen and take in the Word of the Lord!”
“But Mother, I just get this strong feeling that Pastor Shelton doesn’t know some things about Christianity—things that he should be telling us and that we need to know.”
“The Pastor doesn’t pretend to know everything. But he is a learned man and has studied Christianity and the scriptures all his life. No one can know everything about Christianity except God, Aysha. In fact, none of us here on earth will gain the full knowledge of Jesus and Christianity until we are standing before God in heaven," Mother said.
I thought about that for a minute, but I still wasn’t satisfied. Feeling that there was a serious gap in the logic in my mother’s statement, I then asked, “Won't it be too late by then?"
With those word I had officially pushed my mother too far. She picked the Bible up and that was the end of our conversation.
“I tell you what, Aysha, let’s get back to the Bible and pick up where we left off. Let’s not be guilty of passing up the opportunity to learn more about God with the Bible sitting right here before us. I think we’ll learn more about Christianity by reading the scriptures than continuing this conversation that is just going in circles.”
So we proceeded to take turns reading the scriptures. But I wondered to myself why she didn’t answer my question. My best guess was that I didn’t think she had the answer. Mother may have avoided the subject and got us right back on track with our Bible reading but it didn’t end the curiosity and doubts that were building within me.
I knew it upset my mother when I asked those “probing” questions. My dad would sometimes tell me I should think about becoming an investigative reporter. But during this type of exchange with my mother, it was never my intention to upset my mother; I just had questions that I needed answered. I couldn’t help that these questions were popping up more and more in my mind lately. It upset her to question anything about religion or our church or Pastor Shelton. She was raised to think that any doubts she expressed or any aspect she questioned about Christianity or her church was a sin. I knew I had reached that point that was outside of mother’s comfort level so I knew to let it go. But in my private thoughts, I was somewhat frustrated with the answers my mother gave — it was like hearing Pastor Shelton. She just repeated everything he said without thinking about what his words actually meant and how they might be lacking. She was taught well!
Dad was really late that evening. By the time it was almost my bedtime, we had only read one chapter. But I was so sleepy that it was difficult to concentrate and I could have never been able to repeat the substance of what we had just read or, heaven forbid, be tested on it!
Mother looked at me and closed the Bible. “I think somebody’s sleepy.”
Just then, Dad walked in. Dad kissed and hugged my mother and kissed me on the cheek. Mother hurried into the kitchen so she could heat up Dad’s dinner. We all sat around the dining room table with Dad while he was eating his dinner so we could all talk about our day.
As usual, my dad had a rough day. The day had started out rainy which was never a good thing for the construction business. The weather delayed his workers in continuing their work on a new sub-division just outside Willow. But his problems weren’t over when the rain stopped. His next headache occurred when his crew realized that the concrete mixer had stopped working. Dad had to call all around and find a back-up truck while the mechanics worked on his mixer. After a back-up concrete mixer was on its way to the worksite, the lumber company called telling Dad that they would be late in delivering the materials to the sub-division. My dad was stuck late because he had to deal with all these crises forcing him to put off doing his work – telephone calls he had to make and contracts and paperwork he had to process – while he helped straighten out all the other problems.
Dad said he hoped our day had gone better than his. I told him about my school work and what I had studied. Mother told him what she had picked up in town when she went shopping and then I was surprised when Mother brought up the subject of my curiosity about how Pastor Shelton was teaching the congregation.
"Aysha has been driving me crazy with questions about Pastor Shelton!" Mother said in a What-am-I-to-do, please-help-me-way! Mother always depended on Dad to be there for her and rescue her when she felt under fire. My questioning of her early in the day was apparently no exception. She was feeling the heat!
But Dad defended me. I was a lot like him. Like me, he was a curious person and he understood me.
"She's getting to that age where she is going to have questions. It’s only natural, Audrey, and it’s healthy," Dad said.
Dad smiled and winked at me. "Maybe we can ask Pastor Shelton if he could answer some of your questions, Aysha. Would you like that?" Dad had a way of talking to me like a parent yet at the same time making me feel I was so much older than twelve. I appreciated that.
"Yeah...I would like that!" I said with a smile. It was exactly what the doctor ordered! I would really appreciate and look forward to such an opportunity.
Mother was a little skeptical. “John, do you think that’s a good idea? I mean, I wouldn’t want to offend the pastor in any way.”
“I don’t think that questions from a bright young lady who gives her religion a lot of thought should offend anyone.”
My dad always came through for me!
