While the congregation enthusiastically yelled, "Amen!" in unison, Mother quickly got up and went out the back door to the lobby of the church. I was disappointed but not surprised. The evangelist had gone a bit too far for Mother. I felt bad for her and I understood how she felt. She had done her best to listen and be respectful but those last words from the evangelist were just too much for her to take. We had lost my grandpa, my mother’s father, just recently from a heart condition. To her, the evangelist’s words had to be cutting and harsh and untrue.
Larry immediately leaned over to my dad and I could see him mouthing the words, "I'm sorry." Dad motioned for me to follow him and we went to the lobby to check on Mother. My dad would never leave my mother by herself knowing how upset she was. When the two of us rushed out, Mother was sitting on a bench in the lobby. Tears were brimming in her eyes.
"I'd like to go home, John," she said as she reached for a tissue inside her purse.
"Okay, we will," Dad said as he gently placed his arm around her shoulders. My dad was very protective of my mother. I was proud of him even though I was disappointed that we had to leave just when it was getting very exciting.
Just as we were about to leave the church, the door from the sanctuary opened. It was Larry, looking worried and upset. As I looked at Larry, I knew deep-down that he was a nice man and had meant well. He just didn’t know what reaction my mother would have had and, of course, the loss that my mother and our family had suffered with the death of my grandpa. From the pained look on his face, it was obvious that Larry felt very bad that the evangelist’s words had upset my mother so much. After all my mother was a nice lady not to mention she was his boss’ wife.
Larry bent down by my mother and spoke softly. “Mrs. Conora, I am so sorry that you were upset by the evangelist’s words. Please don’t blame him. Everything is totally my fault. I should have given you all a heads up on the bold manner in which Evangelist Shell teaches."
I knew my mother well enough to know that she didn’t blame Larry and certainly didn’t want him to feel bad. She smiled up at him.
“I’m okay, Larry. Please don’t blame yourself. I think you’re a very nice young man and it was nice to meet you. It’s just that everyone has a preference on the way the scripture is preached and interpreted. I hope you understand."
“Of course, Mrs. Conora, I understand completely. If I can offer you any insight into our church or answer any questions, please don’t hesitate to let me know.”
After a few awkward moments of silence, my mother rose from the bench and gave my dad that look that says, “Let’s go.”
Dad got the message right away. He said his good-byes to Larry and echoed what my mother had said to him.
“Larry, don’t worry about anything. We appreciate your kindness and the invitation. Go on back in. I’ll see you tomorrow at the office.”
I gave Larry a little wave. I didn’t want him to feel bad either. Most of all, of course, I was worried about my mother. My dad and I both knew why the Evangelist’s words had disturbed her so much.
The ride home was mainly silent.
“Mother, are you okay? Do you feel better?” I asked my mother.
“I’ll be fine, Aysha. I think I was just feeling a little weepy today.”
I knew my mother was still upset but she didn’t want me to feel bad about it. I guess that’s how it goes when two people love each other. I didn’t want her to feel bad and she didn’t want me to feel bad because she felt bad. I didn’t want to press her but I did want to know how my mother felt and if I was right about what I thought had made her cry. But that conversation would take place later.
Dad tried to smooth things over in his own way. “The church just wasn’t your mom’s cup of tea, Aysha.”
There was no doubt about that, I thought to myself.
That night after I went to bed, I could hear Mother and Dad talking in the family room. I figured they were talking about the church and the evangelist. I didn’t really want to eavesdrop but I did want to hear what they had to say. It was kind of my business. I was there and it was my mother who was upset. So after I gave myself permission, I strained to hear what they were saying.
"If what that Evangelist was saying is true, John, then my dad died in vain," Mother said, referring to the comment Evangelist Shell made about it not being God's will that Christians die with cancer or heart problems. “John, my dad was a good man and a good Christian, a true believer. The evangelist was saying that my father wasn’t. According to that preacher, my father wouldn’t have died of heart problems if he’d been a good Christian. That hurt, John. Besides that, how many millions of people die of heart disease or cancer? Many of them are Christians or thought they were.”
That’s exactly what I thought had bothered my mom. I had gotten a little lump in my throat when I heard my mother’s words. It made me think of my Grandpa and how he died so suddenly and how upset my mother and grandmother were. It was a sad time. The Evangelist had stirred old, sad memories in my mother. Grandpa died when I was eleven. I can still remember how hard my Mother cried and how Dad had hugged her tight when they found out Grandpa had died of a heart attack. He was only fifty-seven.
It probably also bothered my mother thinking of how young my grandpa was compared to the two men who died from Larry’s church. She probably thought it wasn’t fair and that we were cheated out of a lot of good years with my grandpa. I kind of had the same thought.
As my parents’ voices faded out, I must have drifted off to sleep. I didn’t sleep well and woke up several times during the night; my mother’s pained face was the first thing on my mind. I said a little prayer that my mother could have some peace about the experience. I hoped that God heard my prayer because it really hurt to see my mother upset.
The next morning, I made sure I was up early so I could talk to Dad. My father was always the first one to wake up every morning. My mother usually slept until it was time for me to get up so we could start on our “chore chart” as she would say, then get started on what was most important to my mother- my studies.
When I got to the kitchen, my dad was sitting there sipping a steaming hot cup of coffee and reading the morning newspaper.
"Good morning," he said in a whisper. He didn’t want to wake my mother and neither did I so I whispered back.
“How’s Mother?”
“I think she’ll be okay. The talk about the men dying and that Christians didn’t die from disease bothered her. I think it was a little stretch to understand his thinking. What did you think about Larry’s church and the Evangelist?”
I didn’t want to say or do anything that would upset my parents, especially after the reaction my mother had. Yet, I was intrigued by what I had seen. And since I hadn’t been able to witness the entire sermon, I felt I had missed out.
“Dad, I’d like to go back to his church.”
Dad gave me a long look. “Aysha, I don’t think your mother would be too thrilled.”
“Dad, I sure don’t want to make Mother feel any worse, but you think it would hurt her if I just went by myself?” I was hoping my dad would understand that there was some kind of need or desire within me to return to that church. I wasn’t sure that it was exactly a calling but it was at least a curiosity. Although I was intrigued and wanted to hear more, I wasn’t even sure if the church was for me. I just felt I needed to attend a full service so I could make that judgment for myself.
“Maybe we should let it rest for now, honey.” I knew that my dad was in a spot. He always likes to do his best to satisfy both of us. But now it seemed as though my mother and I were on opposite sides. I hated to think of it that way, but at this time in our lives, perhaps we had different needs that had to be satisfied. My mother needed the security of the church she knew. It was her comfort zone and she wanted to stay in it. For me, I needed to learn more and be exposed to different ways of learning about the Lord and by a preacher who was more alive and exciting. I hoped that my father could come to understand where I stood and why.
