nothing from nothing

it takes hard work
dedication and consistency
to make changes to your destiny
because ascending is all about learning
to let go
of habits and belief
to just not hang on to them
and open your mind
to all possibility
first comes the revulsion
of ego and what you do and say
then comes the conclusion
that things will have to change
so resolutely you will try
followed then by failure
and that will make you see
that consistency is the only way
it comes through dedication
and dedication means hard work
progress not a moment
not a snap
and then it's done
it isn't about not making
the same mistake again
but making the time
between your mistakes grow
from mistake to mistake
with time you are improving
so don't think "i'm a loser"
when you make the same mistake
again
just know your on a path
that only you can walk
in the end the moment comes
that you will make it one last time
it's after that you'll realize
you will know, see and feel
in your mind and in your eye
and every cell of your body
it was only the experience
that your soul was looking for

There were quite a few times in my life that i almost made myself vomit because i hated myself, for being weak, stupid, hypocrite etc. Every time i experienced this i resolved to overcome, change, get better or smarter. This was obviously no fun and really hard but i realized that it would be worth it in the end. And it always was. The first time was the hardest, but once you've climbed a mountain and make it to the top, the next mountain looks a little easier and really not that high. In that respect i was lucky to have a "bad" youth for when you're a kid you take everything at face value, so it was self evident i had to climb that mountain. Now that i'm approaching 50 it has become second nature, not that it ever becomes real easy, there is always discomfort involved be it mental or physical or both. The only thing that has really changed is this: now i know i can climb mountains.

realization = illusion
real i zation = i lose one
becoming yourself = losing your ego

If you want to read more of my writings:

umuntu ngumuntu ngabantu!