A company called Nels Nelson LLC has been redoing the concrete stairs and walkway in front of my house this week. The old stairs had been crumbling dangerously and haphazard patch jobs were no longer cutting it. The whole thing needed to be replaced. The company that did the work is run by my longtime friend Jarred. Him and his colleagues were awesome.
The new concrete looked okay. They took care not to damage the aging brickwork. I'd expect as much from any decent crew. What set this company apart was the vibe of the workers.
I stopped to chat with them the other day while they were doing the steps. Every one of their actions was slow and methodical. Although the labor was clearly taxing, there wasn't a hint of aggression in it. Nor was there any of the boisterous vulgarity I've come to expect from my friends in the building trades. Instead of aggression, Jarred exuded quiet satisfaction with the work as it was progressing. It was all very zen, in a way that improved the quality of my day.
During moments of acute stress, our bodies typically react with a fight-flight-or-freeze response. Evolution developed this mechanism for good reasons. When we encounter danger in the environment, it gives us the energy necessary to fend off or escape the danger. Yet the stress chemicals produced by this process aren't super good for us. And modern life has a way of triggering this process in inappropriate moments, particularly in individuals who have experienced serious trauma.
The opposite of the fight-flight-or-freeze response is something called the Relaxation Response. The term was coined in the '70s by Dr. Herbert Benson. Here's a quote from a Psychology Today article on the subject:
The Relaxation Response is a helpful way to turn off the fight-or-flight response and bring the body back to pre-stress levels. Dr. Benson describes the Relaxation Response as a physical state of deep relaxation which engages the other part of our nervous system—the parasympathetic nervous system. Research has shown that regular use of the Relaxation Response can help any health problem that is caused or exacerbated by chronic stress such as fibromyalgia, gastrointestinal ailments, insomnia, hypertension, anxiety disorders, and others. There are many methods to elicit the Relaxation Response including visualization, progressive muscle relaxation, energy healing, acupuncture, massage, breathing techniques, prayer, meditation, tai chi, qi gong, and yoga. True relaxation can also be achieved by removing yourself from everyday thought and by choosing a word, sound, phrase, prayer, or by focusing on your breathing.
When I was younger, there was often significant danger in my life. Into my twenties, I'd hear a certain kind of noise or encounter a certain kind of person or see a police car and bam! My adrenaline would spike and my body would freak out. Although I learned to mask the biological storm in front of people for social reasons, it took years of mindful effort to rewire my brain to respond to these situations in a healthier way. Using several of the practices mentioned in the above quote, I eventually learned to stay relaxed in most everyday circumstances.
Watching the Nels Nelson crew at work was like seeing the Relaxation Response playing out in the most practical way imaginable. Chatting with my friend Jarred while he scraped concrete off of a tool was like being inoculated against stress. I'm not sure I've ever come across a work site where the vibe of the workers had this effect. It was a pleasant surprise, and a reminder that the simple act of holding good energy can make an important difference.
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