The above image was made by with stable diffusion using the prompt 'oil painting of a tiny gray alien surrounded by candles.'
Though Joseph had gone to sleep late, he woke up early as usual. Letting Jenny sleep, he went to the kitchen to make coffee and found Renee had already made a pot. Pouring himself a cup, Joseph went outside, intending to check on Lee. He found the little gray alien sitting on the porch with Renee. They were both smoking cigarettes.
"How was your rest?" asked Lee in her small concise voice. "I was just about to tell Renee about unlocking human psychic potential. Also, I've compiled a list of items for you to order online for my mission. And I burned several of your candles while you were sleeping. I will of course compensate you for the expense when my show becomes profitable."
"Lee says that most people can be psychic if they want to," said Renee. "Isn't that cool?"
"It is cool," admitted Joseph. "But I'm more concerned right now with what happens on the physical plane. Now I know Jenny told you you can stay and I won't argue with her. But I need a little more to go on than you're having a hard time. What's really going on with you two? Is it drugs? Do you need jobs? Someone after you? I want to help, so let me help. You know you can trust me."
A tear rolled down Renee's cheek. "Everything got all messed up," she said. "It's complicated. We've been off the drugs for a month. Ever since ... something happened with our dealer. We owed him money and he did something to us. Something bad. We quit working and got evicted. We're still too messed up to work. Eliot especially. We just didn't know what else to do so we came here."
"Mmm hmm," said Joseph, taking that in. "In any trouble with the law?"
"No, nothing like that," said Renee.
"Don't worry, we'll help you figure it out," said Joseph.
"Events like these do not unfold by accident," said Lee. "Our paths were destined to cross."
"Aliens believe in destiny?" asked Renee.
"We believe that there is a higher order governing everything," said Lee. "This higher order isn't like a set of rigid rules or commands from some god. Rather, it's what makes tree branches resemble the veins in your bodies. What makes bubbles spherical. What brings certain sentient beings together in service to larger plans that they themselves may be unaware of."
"If what happened to us was part of some larger plan, whoever is behind it can go fuck themselves," said Renee.
"Perhaps, and yet you are here now, having a morning coffee with an extraterrestrial," said Lee.
"Wait, can you help us get back at the fucker?" asked Renee. "Someone needs to put a stop to that guy and the cops are never going to do anything."
"I recommend you continue healing for a time before deciding your next course of action," said Lee.
"That sounds smart," said Joseph, who didn't voice the fantasies now occupying his mind; revenge fantasies involving the guy who had hurt his sister-in-law.
"I guess," said Renee, unconvinced but willing to go along with it. "Can we talk about something else, please? I want to know more about this destiny thing. You say our paths were destined to cross. What exactly do you think I'm supposed to be doing here?"
"At first, healing is enough," said Lee. "But the time will soon come to spread the word about me. I'd like you and Eliot to help with that."
While they talked, a black sedan pulled into the long gravel driveway and parked near the house. Joseph looked to see who it was and when he glanced back, Lee was nowhere to be found. Two men in black suits got out of the car and approached the porch. Joseph moved closer to the doorway, where he kept a loaded shotgun. "Help you gentlemen with something?" he called.
"We're with the Environmental Protection Agency," said the older man. "Joseph Simon? There was a chemical spill near your campsite last night. We're following up to test you and your vehicle for contamination."
"Oh yeah?" said Joseph. "What spilled? And where did it come from? There was nothing out there in the Stone Creek Campground. That's why I went there in the first place."
"We understand this is highly unusual," said the younger agent, removing a small boxy device from his coat pocket. "Don't worry, our test is noninvasive. A handheld scanner will confirm that you're clean. We call it the sniffer because it sniffs out the dangerous molecules."
"Oh no," said Joseph. "No way. You keep your molecular whatever away from me and get off my property."
"Sniff the truck," said the older agent to the younger. "I'll handle Mr. Simon."
"No way you're EPA," said Joseph, reaching in the doorway and grabbing the shotgun. "I don't know what you people were doing out in the woods last night but I didn't see anything."
"I got 'em both live on Instagram," said Renee, who was holding up her phone. "For all my subscribers, these are fake government agents bothering my brother-in-law. Let me know if you're going to shoot bro and I'll cut the feed."
"Now let's everybody just calm down," said the older agent. "I'm going to leave my card in case you remember anything unusual, Mr. Simon. Oh, and if you were exposed to the contaminant, you might experience dizziness, headaches, vertigo, hallucinations, and other psychiatric symptoms. It is imperative that you contact me if anything like that shows up. Your health could be at risk, but there is a decontamination procedure to prevent permanent damage."
As the black sedan drove away, the younger agent turned to his superior. "We got a hit on the vehicle. From the truck bed. Think our friend hitched a ride without Mr. Simon knowing?"
The older agent said nothing.
When the car was out of sight, Joseph put the gun away and Renee pocketed her phone. "Oh my god!" she said.
Lee popped out of the crate she'd been hiding in. "They came more quickly than anticipated," she said. "It's good that you didn't shoot them."
"No kidding," said Joseph, who was shaking. "Think they'll come back with reinforcements?"
"Those two were merely gathering information," said Lee. "They aren't aware of what is really happening. The younger one thinks he's chasing a seven foot tall monster and the older one thinks he's chasing meaningless glitches arising from errors in the threat detection software they use. Renee, you were very smart to broadcast their images. The video will be taken down quickly but their organization would rather do nothing than risk further exposure after that."
"Okay but who exactly are they?" asked Joseph. "Is it men in black like in the movies?"
Lee chirped. "There are many groups," she said. "This one knows about my kind and wants to capture our power for themselves, an impossible dream that they nonetheless chase. Other groups are focused on other extraterrestrial races, of which there are many. After I make my first public appearance, your men in black will come in force."
"Your first public appearance?" asked Joseph.
"Yes," said Lee. "Today we prepare and order supplies. Tomorrow, you go out for breakfast like normal, but I will accompany you and begin meeting the townspeople."
"What'll you do while I'm at work?" asked Joseph. "Until your entertainment business gets off the ground I still have to bring home a paycheck."
"Wouldn't it be fun if you brought me to work?" asked Lee.
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