The above image was made by with stable diffusion using the prompt 'oil painting tiny gray alien in a record store.'
When Joseph was twenty minutes from home, he called his girlfriend to let her know he was returning from his vacation a day early.
"It's because you missed me, isn't it?" asked Jenny.
"Totally," said Joseph. "Plus I found something really cool out in the woods and I can't wait to show you."
"I've got a surprise for you too," said Jenny. "See you soon!"
Pulling off County Road G and into his driveway, Joseph saw a sleek red fox dart away into the underbrush. Considering this a good omen, he parked on the gravel under a floodlight in front of a large metal outbuilding. "Here we are," he said. "This is you, the record barn. Let me put my camping stuff away next door then I'll show you in and get you settled. After that, I'll introduce you to Jenny, at which point all bets are off."
"That is acceptable," said Lee. "How would you like to present me to your mate? I can walk. You can carry me. I can also pretend to be a lifeless doll who springs suddenly to life, surprising her."
"Haha maybe it'd be best if you just came in next to me," said Joseph.
Ten minutes later, observing seemingly endless rows of vinyl in the record barn, Lee did something unexpected. She let out a chirp, jumped straight up about six feet, did a somersault, and landed gracefully back on her feet. "This is an ideal base of operations," she said.
"Wow nice move," said Joseph. "There's a little stepladder around here somewhere and I can get you blankets. Do you sleep? What about food? What do you eat?"
"Human brains," said Lee.
Joseph squirmed. "Wait," he said. "Are you joking?"
"Good one, right?" said Lee, chirping mirthfully.
"What in the actual fuck?" demanded Jenny. "What is this, Joseph?"
"Jenny, meet Lee, an extraterrestrial who came to Earth to listen to my record collection," said Joseph.
"That's so cool!" said Jenny, studying Lee. "I mean, I feel like I'm hallucinating right now. But look at you! So cute in your little suit and utility belt. Nice to meet you!"
"I am very glad to meet you," said Lee. "Joseph told me you might be able to help me accomplish my mission by sewing me special outfits. If I can be of assistance to you in any way, please let me know."
"That's so cool!" said Jenny again. "So you're from another planet? What's it like?"
"In the distant past, my people lived on a planet," said Lee. "But we've been exploring the cosmos since long before I was born. We are made of light, not physical matter. The body I now inhabit was specially created for my mission here on Earth."
"I knew aliens were real!" said Jenny. "Don't I always say so? I mean, do you need anything? Food or drink? I'm sure Joseph already told you, but stay as long as you want. Oh, and we've got other surprise guests. My sister Renee and her boyfriend Eliot. They're in a bad way so I told them they could stay as long as they want."
"You're kidding," said Joseph, who was not pleased.
"I know I know," said Jenny. "I'm not thrilled about it either. But there's something major going on with them. Something serious. They're off the drugs and just need a place to get better is what they said."
"They're not allowed in here," said Joseph. "Nowhere near my records."
"I know, already told them," said Jenny. "But I was hoping you could talk to Eliot. Maybe having an older man to talk to would help."
"Fine," said Joseph.
"I could talk with your guests if that would help," said Lee. "I'm very wise."
Jenny laughed. "Want to come and meet them?" she asked. "Mind if I take a picture?"
"No pictures at this time but yes I'll meet them," said Lee.
The trio proceeded into the house, where Renee and Eliot were watching Dateline. It took a moment for them to notice Lee.
"Hey Joseph," said Renee. "Cool alien."
"That a robot doll?" asked Eliot.
"I am a sovereign being named Lee," said Lee. "I came to your planet on a mission of the utmost importance."
"You're real?" asked Renee.
"A realistic robot, maybe," said Eliot.
"The body you see was engineered but I assure you I'm quite sentient," said Lee.
"Cool," said Eliot.
"She'll mostly be in the record barn, which is off limits to you," said Joseph.
"We know, your barn is off limits," said Renee. "Hey ET, do your fingers light up?"
"I can make any part of this body emit light," said Lee. "Would you like to hear about my mission?"
"What's your mission?" asked Eliot.
"My mission is to inspire," said Lee. "I sense the turmoil in your mind. Perhaps I can help you see past it. Find your hidden creativity."
"What do you mean?" asked Eliot.
"She's psychic, kid," said Joseph. "Knows what's in your mind. I just met her but I'm sure she's serious about her offer. I'd take her up on it if I were you."
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