I have a chance to observe it in action in a nursery school. At first it seems a little strange... Actually, no. It's jaw-dropping experience. The traditional way of dealing with children is to tell them what to do, punish them if they don't, generally treat them as, well, children. Little creatures that need to be managed, taught, steered and who are expected to misbehave, be self-centered and noisy. At least that's what I see around, statistically significant amount. Not all parents are honest about it, even with themselves, and I am sure they love their children, but...
Children are tiny humans. They have all the feelings we adults have. They are more honest in expressing them - or rather not suppressing them, because they simply can't, that skill develops later in life - but they are at least capable of recognizing and naming their feelings and communicating them. 3-year old girl explaining to her peers that she felt bad about something they did (some typical problems of tiny humans, to them of extreme importance), there was something deeply moving about it. Some people say it's robbing them of their childhood, making them act like adults, but it's the opposite - they do have feelings right from the start. Having feelings has nothing to do with being a child or an adult - understanding one's own feelings and being honest with oneself about them, which is an aspect of NVC, is a great thing regardless of age. And then understanding that we all have feelings, and they are important, creates environment of harmony and balance. Not necessarily without shouting, problems and toys being thrown at each other, but environment where everything can be explained, understood and, in the end, made right.
Because if we don't see child's feelings as important, how can the child learn self-respect? How can the child learn to be honest with oneself? How can the child understand, value and respect the feelings of others? This is where non-violence principle and its sister self-defense principle come from. When they are missing or neglected... Neurotic, destructive society created by individuals who don't respect themselves and others, well, you don't need to look far to see it. The good thing is that it is never too late to start being honest :)
And, by the way, fanatics (especially religious sorts) who preach the fall of values and return to... whatever paradise they dream of, they usually miss the good, old days of leather belt and strict rules. Of behaving as we are told. Of strong state, armed police, long lists of sins with appropriate punishments eagerly administered by figures looking suspiciously like their own fathers. Without rules and rulers there is a danger of freedom, of confronting one's feelings, of responsibility and self-understanding. And it can be quite scary, when freedom comes later in life. To children it comes naturally and they have much better shot at being happy, well-balanced human beings later. But if freedom comes late in life, it can cause revolution, with violence and misery. Process of discovering self... Finding oneself, seems to be quite popular these days, usually accompanied by some advert on the other page, saying "be yourself, drink <whatever chemical shit they produced too much of yesterday>". The ancients knew it. Know thyself. And Nonviolent Communication is quite a useful tool for it.
