This morning, I found my old log about education.This thing happens that whenever I question myself, I will be presented with resources to deduct the answer. Lately I have been asking my motives to go to a place called school or university if you will. " Why do I go there if I am not giving my best?" " do I really want to go to school before?" " why do I go to school?" I still yet to find the answer that satisfy myself.Perhaps, after writing this, I will find the answer.
As a freshman, I was excited to study in a university, possibly of my choice. I was enthusiastic that I will help to change the world to become a better place. I was excited with the idea that I will become a prolific thinker and a thought-leader whose book will be read by many. I was ecstatic that I will explore a new place, new environment and people. However, years gone by, things happened and I am jaded after seeing the reality outside my bubble. I have no more desire to study so I can change the world to be a better place, I have no more desire to explore the town even there's always something new each year, and I grow afraid of the outside. Those things affected how I think about education and its importance in my life.
Is it worth it to study literature? Am I just going to protest the world is unfair because a fictional book said so? Am I just going to reflect everything I and this world experience, based on a fictional characters?
Years ago, after experiencing my freshman year, I wrote that I go to the university because it is just a phase. Well, it becomes a reality, eventually I don't enjoy the process and continue despite I want to drop out. " you are not bill gates, zuck or those successful college drop outs" my family said.
There was also an unspoken expectation that I must finish school in order to climb the social ladder, becoming a corporate cog, having a house, happily married possibly with kids and then, taking care of my parents when they retire.
As of now, I am their worst nightmare. I don't want any of those. My actions have proven that I opt for a different life path. Sometimes I feel like I am laying to myself for continuing something I don't enjoy anymore. Yet sometimes, I question myself " is it just a phase and my inconsistent disease started to infect me again?" I don't know. But after working, I prefer working than sitting like a plant inside a classroom listening great tales of people from the past.
However..
Yes, I will. Although, one must aware of its consequences, its possibilities, its challenges and their goals. A young student must also aware of their financial situation before dipping their feet into an institutional education. Even the tuition fees are fairly reasonable in some countries, a student must take account into living cost, materials needed for class, health care and other unexpected expenses.
I wished I could go back to my old self. I would want to warn her about couple of things before going to university and acquire more freedom. I wished I could tell her to take school very seriously, very responsibly and avoid even a micro outside distractions. I would tell her that sometimes, ignorance is a bliss and keeps us at bay from unnecessary harmful situations. Sometimes, not knowing things before we are prepared can be more damaging than helping in the long run. Fortunately now, I can only tell her to move on and take the life lessons she has acquired.
