Spend enough time on X and you will see similar posts like this ;
Some other variations include how it is shameful to live with our parents at the age 27 and so on. The other day I also saw similar post like this and another from Sweden mentioning how most people start college only in their mid 20's and that it's quite common. Maybe it is quite common but when you are surrounded by people who don't do that stuff, it's hard to see another way.
I can only see a way out of my desperation once I hang out with my mother circles which typically consists of variations of older people pursuing further degree or starting over from scratch. From that proximity, I learned that things are possible as long as we stop making life happens to us and start to build it, consistently and patiently.
I share the sentiment of Marc's where 25 was the last age where life happens to us. Though for me it stretched quite a bit until last year. I decided to start taking the steering wheel of my life no matter how challenging it gets. I barely cry the past couple of years but recently, I shed so many tears quietly because life can be that heavy, heavier than what I used to.
The older me would probably just give up. Even starting my new class this semester, it wasn't easy as I thought it would be. But I know, I can't quit it. I have to fight tooth and nail this time to finally have another chance to have a proper/decent life. The same goes with my health, as much as I neglected it the last couple of years, it is starting to show. I am working towards bettering it, one day at a time.
I no longer tolerate many things but also, I realized one big thing, nobody is coming to save my sinking boat; not even my mother, my bestfriend, or anyone really. It was that moment one night, I realized I was the one responsible to save myself from the sinking boat.
This whole damn season was teaching me how to be extremely patient, cultivate persistence, and showing up even when I do not want it. From all those, I've realized how I half-assed everything and do things without any discipline from the past 2 decades.
All the could've, should've.. was mere excuses. I finally internalize it that all along, I have not really gave it my all.
As an adult version of my life, what really changed was when I started teaching. It doesn't matter if I have bad mood, I have to stick to my responsibility to teach and show up for my students. The more I did that, the better I get at combating procrastination, laziness and even the temptation to just abandon everything.
The good news of it all is that , I train my memory muscle and myself to be comfort in the uncomfortable. I also train my discipline and valuing consistency than fast or quick approach to things. Not all days were good but I become really comfortable with imperfection too.
饾槉饾槮饾槷饾樅 (饾槹饾槼 饾様饾槩饾槫) 饾槳饾槾 饾槩 饾槫饾樁饾槼饾槳饾槹饾樁饾槾 饾槰饾槮饾槸饾槮饾槼饾槩饾槶饾槳饾槾饾樀, 饾槫饾槹饾槯饾槯饾槮饾槮 饾槫饾槹饾槸饾槸饾槹饾槳饾槾饾槾饾槮饾樁饾槼, 饾槩饾槸饾槬 饾槩饾槸 饾槩饾槷饾槪饾槳饾樂饾槮饾槼饾樀 饾樃饾槱饾槹 饾槯饾槳饾槸饾槬饾槾 饾槪饾槩饾槶饾槩饾槸饾槫饾槮 饾槪饾槮饾樀饾樃饾槮饾槮饾槸 饾槾饾槹饾槶饾槳饾樀饾樁饾槬饾槮 饾槩饾槸饾槬 饾槾饾槹饾槫饾槳饾槩饾槶 饾槾饾槺饾槩饾槼饾槵. 饾槒饾槮饾槼 饾槪饾槶饾槹饾槰 饾槳饾槾 饾槯饾樁饾槮饾槶饾槮饾槬 饾槪饾樅 饾槫饾樁饾槼饾槳饾槹饾槾饾槳饾樀饾樅 饾槩饾槸饾槬 饾槩 饾槾饾槳饾槷饾槺饾槶饾槮 饾槻饾樁饾槮饾槾饾樀饾槳饾槹饾槸: 饾樃饾槱饾樅 饾槬饾槹饾槮饾槾 饾樀饾槱饾槮 饾樃饾槹饾槼饾槶饾槬 饾樃饾槹饾槼饾槵 饾樀饾槱饾槮 饾樃饾槩饾樅 饾槳饾樀 饾槬饾槹饾槮饾槾? 饾槧饾槹饾樁'饾槶饾槶 饾槹饾槯饾樀饾槮饾槸 饾槯饾槳饾槸饾槬 饾槱饾槮饾槼 饾樃饾槼饾槳饾樀饾槳饾槸饾槰 饾槩饾槪饾槹饾樁饾樀 饾樀饾槼饾槩饾樂饾槮饾槶, 饾槰饾槮饾槹饾槰饾槼饾槩饾槺饾槱饾樅, 饾槫饾槳饾樀饾槳饾槮饾槾, 饾槫饾槹饾槯饾槯饾槮饾槮, 饾樀饾槮饾槫饾槱饾槸饾槹饾槶饾槹饾槰饾樅, 饾槩饾槸饾槬 饾樀饾槱饾槮 饾槮饾樂饾槮饾槼饾樅饾槬饾槩饾樅 饾槹饾槪饾槾饾槮饾槼饾樂饾槩饾樀饾槳饾槹饾槸饾槾 饾樀饾槱饾槩饾樀 饾槷饾槹饾槾饾樀 饾槺饾槮饾槹饾槺饾槶饾槮 饾樃饾槩饾槶饾槵 饾槺饾槩饾槾饾樀. 饾槡饾槱饾槮 饾槶饾槹饾樂饾槮饾槾 饾槾饾樃饾槳饾槷饾槷饾槳饾槸饾槰 饾槩饾槸饾槬 饾槮饾樄饾槺饾槶饾槹饾槼饾槳饾槸饾槰 饾槸饾槮饾樃 饾槺饾槶饾槩饾槫饾槮饾槾. 饾槏饾槹饾槶饾槶饾槹饾樃 饾槱饾槮饾槼 饾槹饾槸 饾槒饾槳饾樂饾槮, 饾槰饾槼饾槩饾槪 饾槩 饾槫饾樁饾槺 饾槹饾槯 饾槫饾槹饾槯饾槯饾槮饾槮, 饾槩饾槸饾槬 饾槾饾槮饾槮 饾樀饾槱饾槮 饾樃饾槹饾槼饾槶饾槬 饾槩 饾槶饾槳饾樀饾樀饾槶饾槮 饾槬饾槳饾槯饾槯饾槮饾槼饾槮饾槸饾樀饾槶饾樅. | |