In another episode of moving, today I tried to ship a few boxes again. I certainly still feel so weird that I am finally moving out of this place. I suppose, I grew up and new life awaits.
The most painful thing is that I admit I couldnโt move on. My life has sucked compared to what it used to be in the past. I always got emotional when I remembered my ideals back in the day vs today. I always believed Hive to be a space where people can see that blockchain is not just about the currency. There is so much more to it and to this day, with so many things happening around, I still wonder if there are people out there who have the same ideals like I do. I feel like the space these days focuses too much on profit and how much we can squeeze out of it. Maybe thatโs why I didnโt get rich? beats me haha
These days, my routine involves something like chugging coffee day & night. My favorite has also been, after shipping the boxes, I got a morning coffee fix as a form of cope. I am 27 years old now and clueless as fuck. I am open to criticism more than ever. So, if you think there has to be something I can improve, go ahead & tell me. I might consider it.
I might need to start liking the spotlight. I hide away too much and this room is the physical witness of it. The room that nestled in some dark alleys and we can never know if itโs day/night. So, moving out of the place has been something to do with me coming out to the world, symbolically too.
There was this one podcast with Casey Neistat about not caring what others said. I guess, I used to care about that a lot and that hindered a lot of my creativity and I had too many intrusive thoughts that I became paralyzed. These days, I am much older and honestly, the last couple of years have been my lowest low. So, now the option that I got, is just rising up and being a lot better than I was/have been.
In this room, I might hurt a person or two accidentally/not by accident. I might have made bad decisions & said mean things. I am sorry if youโre one of the people I hurt. I am really sorry. Itโs probably why I always feel massive guilt and fear around the room. Itโs probably why, whenever I am inside the room, I feel like life isnโt worth living because I got used to hearing it from me. You know, they said toxic relationships are one of those things that are harder to let go. This room is one of them.
Remember 24? another version of me I was in. I wave goodbye to the end of the beginning. ~ lyrics from DJO (end of beginning).
I played that song from Djo all over again. It is the first mood of all this. Now, I guess I have to move on and Iโll lead life standing up tall and open myself up more to the world. I believe I still got some chances in life and I can fix things that I messed up in the past. Anyway, how was your day?
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๐๐ข๐ค ๐ช๐ด ๐ข ๐ด๐ฆ๐ญ๐ง-๐ฆ๐ฎ๐ฑ๐ญ๐ฐ๐บ๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ฏ๐ช๐ฏ๐ซ๐ข & ๐ค๐ฐ๐ง๐ง๐ฆ๐ฆ ๐ค๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ช๐ด๐ด๐ฆ๐ถ๐ณ . ๐ ๐ต๐บ๐ฑ๐ช๐ค๐ข๐ญ ๐ช๐ฏ๐ต๐ณ๐ฐ๐ท๐ฆ๐ณ๐ต ๐ช๐ฏ ๐ญ๐ฐ๐ท๐ฆ ๐ธ๐ช๐ต๐ฉ ๐ญ๐ช๐ต๐ฆ๐ณ๐ข๐ต๐ถ๐ณ๐ฆ, ๐ฃ๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ฌ๐ด, ๐ต๐ฆ๐ค๐ฉ๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ญ๐ฐ๐จ๐บ ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ฑ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐ฐ๐ด๐ฐ๐ฑ๐ฉ๐บ. ๐๐ฉ๐ช๐ด ๐ช๐ด ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ฑ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ด๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ข๐ญ ๐ฃ๐ญ๐ฐ๐จ, ๐ข ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ง๐ญ๐ฆ๐ค๐ต๐ช๐ฐ๐ฏ ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ธ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ญ๐ถ๐ด๐ต ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ณ๐ด๐ต ๐ง๐ฐ๐ณ ๐ฌ๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ธ๐ญ๐ฆ๐ฅ๐จ๐ฆ. ๐๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ฐ๐ง๐ต๐ฆ๐ฏ ๐ค๐ฐ๐ท๐ฆ๐ณ๐ด ๐ฃ๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ฌ๐ด, ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ท๐ช๐ฆ ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ด๐ฆ๐ณ๐ช๐ฆ๐ด ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ท๐ช๐ฆ๐ธ๐ด, ๐ต๐ฆ๐ค๐ฉ ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ท๐ช๐ฆ๐ธ๐ด ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ต๐ณ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ฅ๐ด, ๐ฑ๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ต๐ฐ๐จ๐ณ๐ข๐ฑ๐ฉ๐บ, ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ฑ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ด๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ข๐ญ ๐ฅ๐ฆ๐ท๐ฆ๐ญ๐ฐ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ต. ๐๐ฏ๐ค๐ฆ ๐ช๐ฏ ๐ข ๐ฃ๐ญ๐ถ๐ฆ ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ฏ, ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ค๐ข๐ฏ ๐ง๐ช๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ต๐ณ๐ข๐ท๐ฆ๐ญ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ, ๐ช๐ฎ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ด๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ด๐ฆ๐ญ๐ง ๐ช๐ฏ ๐ญ๐ฐ๐ค๐ข๐ญ ๐ค๐ถ๐ญ๐ต๐ถ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ด ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ต๐ณ๐ข๐ฅ๐ช๐ต๐ช๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ด, ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ต๐ข๐ฌ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ฑ๐ช๐ค๐ต๐ถ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ด ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ข๐ถ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐ถ๐ญ ๐ด๐ช๐จ๐ฉ๐ต๐ด ๐ด๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ค๐ฐ๐ถ๐ฏ๐ต๐ฆ๐ณ๐ด ๐ข๐ญ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐จ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ธ๐ข๐บ. ๐๐ฉ๐ฆ'๐ด ๐ข๐ฏ ๐ฐ๐ค๐ค๐ข๐ด๐ช๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ข๐ญ ๐ง๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ฅ๐ช๐ฆ ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ญ๐ฐ๐ท๐ฆ๐ด ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ฆ๐น๐ฑ๐ญ๐ฐ๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ฏ๐ฆ๐ธ ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ฅ๐ฆ๐ญ๐ช๐ค๐ช๐ฐ๐ถ๐ด ๐ค๐ถ๐ญ๐ช๐ฏ๐ข๐ณ๐บ ๐ฆ๐น๐ฑ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ช๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ค๐ฆ๐ด. ๐๐ฐ๐ญ๐ญ๐ฐ๐ธ ๐ข๐ญ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐จ ๐ฐ๐ฏ ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ข๐ฅ๐ท๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ต๐ถ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ด ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ซ๐ฐ๐ช๐ฏ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ค๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ท๐ฆ๐ณ๐ด๐ข๐ต๐ช๐ฐ๐ฏ! ๐๐ฐ๐ฏ'๐ต ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ด๐ช๐ต๐ข๐ต๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ถ๐ฑ๐ท๐ฐ๐ต๐ฆ, ๐ญ๐ฆ๐ข๐ท๐ฆ ๐ข ๐ค๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ต ๐ฐ๐ณ ๐ข ๐ง๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฅ๐ฃ๐ข๐ค๐ฌ. ๐ ๐ณ๐ฆ-๐ฃ๐ญ๐ฐ๐จ ๐ช๐ด ๐ข๐ญ๐ด๐ฐ ๐ข๐ฑ๐ฑ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ค๐ช๐ข๐ต๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ต๐ฐ๐ฐ. |