Goodbye Old Room, Hello New Life

In another episode of moving, today I tried to ship a few boxes again. I certainly still feel so weird that I am finally moving out of this place. I suppose, I grew up and new life awaits.

The most painful thing is that I admit I couldn’t move on. My life has sucked compared to what it used to be in the past. I always got emotional when I remembered my ideals back in the day vs today. I always believed Hive to be a space where people can see that blockchain is not just about the currency. There is so much more to it and to this day, with so many things happening around, I still wonder if there are people out there who have the same ideals like I do. I feel like the space these days focuses too much on profit and how much we can squeeze out of it. Maybe that’s why I didn’t get rich? beats me haha

@ocd/meet-ocds-curators-and-community-leaders-4

These days, my routine involves something like chugging coffee day & night. My favorite has also been, after shipping the boxes, I got a morning coffee fix as a form of cope. I am 27 years old now and clueless as fuck. I am open to criticism more than ever. So, if you think there has to be something I can improve, go ahead & tell me. I might consider it.

I might need to start liking the spotlight. I hide away too much and this room is the physical witness of it. The room that nestled in some dark alleys and we can never know if it’s day/night. So, moving out of the place has been something to do with me coming out to the world, symbolically too.

There was this one podcast with Casey Neistat about not caring what others said. I guess, I used to care about that a lot and that hindered a lot of my creativity and I had too many intrusive thoughts that I became paralyzed. These days, I am much older and honestly, the last couple of years have been my lowest low. So, now the option that I got, is just rising up and being a lot better than I was/have been.

In this room, I might hurt a person or two accidentally/not by accident. I might have made bad decisions & said mean things. I am sorry if you’re one of the people I hurt. I am really sorry. It’s probably why I always feel massive guilt and fear around the room. It’s probably why, whenever I am inside the room, I feel like life isn’t worth living because I got used to hearing it from me. You know, they said toxic relationships are one of those things that are harder to let go. This room is one of them.

Remember 24? another version of me I was in. I wave goodbye to the end of the beginning. ~ lyrics from DJO (end of beginning).

I played that song from Djo all over again. It is the first mood of all this. Now, I guess I have to move on and I’ll lead life standing up tall and open myself up more to the world. I believe I still got some chances in life and I can fix things that I messed up in the past. Anyway, how was your day?