Almost barely catching up with this #bloggingchallenge, today I finally set aside 20 minutes to write for this day 16. Normally, my Thursday is where I give my intermittent fasting progress update and the struggles I am going through. However, since I am already limited in time, I will move on and push it tomorrow.
As corny as it sounds, smallest thing in life makes me happy. It really doesn't take me much to put a smile on my face. I appreciate every small gestures and I always try to create those small but meaningful gestures for everyone around me. Though pretty much from the last several years I live under a black cloud, I still try to find happiness now and then. I learn that I can make happiness instead waiting for happiness to come into my life.
It took me a long rough and patchy journey before I get into this state. I used to think that I could not be happy before I got rich, before I got into my ideal weight, before I owned this and that. I used to think that happiness means a huge achievement and reaching a milestone in life. I used to think that I would never be happy. The truth is, I can be happy.
A good day outside with a good coffee at a nice cozy cafe, a meaningful conversation with a friend, a fun time with my partner, a clean house, a good food, giving someone something, being able to travel to greenery side of the city; these simple things make me happy.
It strange sometimes how these little things can change my day drastically. As if these things alleviate the pain I feel and take the stress away. These small things also help me becoming more productive and make me focus on the good things instead the bad.
At times though, I can be in denial. I purposely deprive myself from little things that make me happy. Usually this will stay for months and will only drag me down further into unhappiness, self-pity, self-loathing and other negative emotions. The worse thing that could happen is developing extreme anxiety. I have been through worst of the worst form of anxiety and these days, I am working on fixing it. So far, it has been good and my day has been better. At least when there is a problem, I stopped dwelling on it for too long.
Like this week, I heard my little cousin got into an accident. It punched me in the gut when I heard it. But I was outside at the coffee shop, though I wanted to cry, I didn't. I was able to digest the news better and act clearer. Everything become less negative and a bit more positive. It was not doom and gloom. Interesting how it barely felt like this before. As I try to not focus on the negatives, it somehow find itself to resolve the situation. Thanks to all who have helped thus far 
I suppose it really is, smallest thing in life is what makes me happy. That's all I can say about it.
~ Mac
If you want to join this 30 Days blogging with me, feel free to do so ! I'd be happy to have other hivers doing this with me.
~ Mac
