Parents-children relationship can be challenging but there are ways to rekindle the relationship with our family. It took a bit of time and patience but in the end itโs really worth it. My parents and I used to have a communication problem until I decided to work on it. Itโs never 100% perfect but everyday is a constant learning for both of us. When I started communicating with my parents, I started learning that they still see me as a child who needs help in everything they do and as if I didnโt know better about life. Knowing where they are coming from, I decided to work on convincing my parents that I am no longer a child, I am a mature adult capable of having responsibilities and bearing the consequences of everything I do. I am no longer under them but an equal human being. They should also treat me with respect and I should do the same. When I first started rekindling my relationship with my mom, we had many coffee dates and chatted over coffee to talk about life, memories and perhaps important matters.Now that activity is something we do at least once a month where we check on each other about how we feel and what we aspire to in our life. That is one of the ways that I learned about communicating with parents. At the same time,When I first posted in this community, I wanted to share my experience dealing with multiple sets of parents. I may not be a professionally certified family counselor but life taught me a thing or two as a child who was adopted, dealing with multiple parents as an adult and growing up surrounded by it. Parents have their own parenting style and it has been quite a ride dealing with each one of them.Having to experience those, one thing I am great at is adaptability where I can match the people I am dealing and talking with.
By having different parents, it also has been an interesting experience as the things I do with my mom would not work with other moms I have. If you have a nasty stepmother, bonding over a coffee chat isnโt going to be enough. The way I dealt with my step mother requires a bit of work. I sort of switch to my other personalities when I am around her and being even nastier because thatโs just the way she chooses to communicate. And of course, though we arenโt close, at least we managed to rekindle our relationship through satirical conversation and cynicism. It isnโt healthy but the relationship I have with her has even been better than in the past where she sort of bullies me and I could not communicate with her. Now, I found her way to communicate and we are 100% fine.
However, sometimes in life you find an irreparable relationship like the one I have with my biological mother. As much as I admire her as a woman, communicating with her has been a challenge even more so because I see myself in her and I know damn well that trying to squeeze out information from a closed-off person is a challenge. And when a relationship is only transactional, itโs also a challenge until at one point I started talking the way she does and we also got along pretty well, temporarily. I did the coffee dates and the thing I do with my first mom but that also did not work well. In the end though, I decided to move on from that relationship and from her, I learned that the word โmomโ is a title thatโs earned and not given.
When my mom and I were talking, it was raining outside and it set even more of a mood to talk about memories. We talked about how we struggled in the past but also the good things that we did last year. Recently, my mom is going out again and I am very happy for her. She started meeting her friends again and from there I got to listen to many stories. Itโs funny to listen to her stories because despite their old age, โ boomers as I say it, have their own type of drama thatโs popcorn worthy. It has been something so worthy of my time when I hang out around old people, they have fun stories and lessons you can learn from. Like with my mom, I know she can be harsh when it comes to my cooking and everything in my life but as I get older, I simply ignore it when it gets annoying. I think she just wants the best for me and thatโs how she encourages it like typical asian moms out there. Otherwise, our relationship has been amicable and we have each other especially when the going gets tough. For all I know, relationships with parents can be challenging but sometimes when we commit to working towards bettering it, things certainly will improve. I certainly recommend going out with your parents, trying bonding and learning where they come from. Youโd be surprised to learn many things and sometimes resentment comes because we fail to communicate our needs and wants.
Don't hesitate to upvote for more content like this ! You can also support me below!
| ๐๐ข๐ค ๐ช๐ด ๐ข ๐ด๐ฆ๐ญ๐ง-๐ฆ๐ฎ๐ฑ๐ญ๐ฐ๐บ๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ฏ๐ช๐ฏ๐ซ๐ข & ๐ค๐ฐ๐ง๐ง๐ฆ๐ฆ ๐ค๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ช๐ด๐ด๐ฆ๐ถ๐ณ . ๐ ๐ต๐บ๐ฑ๐ช๐ค๐ข๐ญ ๐ช๐ฏ๐ต๐ณ๐ฐ๐ท๐ฆ๐ณ๐ต ๐ช๐ฏ ๐ญ๐ฐ๐ท๐ฆ ๐ธ๐ช๐ต๐ฉ ๐ญ๐ช๐ต๐ฆ๐ณ๐ข๐ต๐ถ๐ณ๐ฆ, ๐ฃ๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ฌ๐ด, ๐ต๐ฆ๐ค๐ฉ๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ญ๐ฐ๐จ๐บ ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ฑ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐ฐ๐ด๐ฐ๐ฑ๐ฉ๐บ. ๐๐ฉ๐ช๐ด ๐ช๐ด ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ฑ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ด๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ข๐ญ ๐ฃ๐ญ๐ฐ๐จ, ๐ข ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ง๐ญ๐ฆ๐ค๐ต๐ช๐ฐ๐ฏ ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ธ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ญ๐ถ๐ด๐ต ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ณ๐ด๐ต ๐ง๐ฐ๐ณ ๐ฌ๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ธ๐ญ๐ฆ๐ฅ๐จ๐ฆ. ๐๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ฐ๐ง๐ต๐ฆ๐ฏ ๐ค๐ฐ๐ท๐ฆ๐ณ๐ด ๐ฃ๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ฌ๐ด, ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ท๐ช๐ฆ ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ด๐ฆ๐ณ๐ช๐ฆ๐ด ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ท๐ช๐ฆ๐ธ๐ด, ๐ต๐ฆ๐ค๐ฉ ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ท๐ช๐ฆ๐ธ๐ด ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ต๐ณ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ฅ๐ด, ๐ฑ๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ต๐ฐ๐จ๐ณ๐ข๐ฑ๐ฉ๐บ, ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ฑ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ด๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ข๐ญ ๐ฅ๐ฆ๐ท๐ฆ๐ญ๐ฐ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ต. ๐๐ฏ๐ค๐ฆ ๐ช๐ฏ ๐ข ๐ฃ๐ญ๐ถ๐ฆ ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ฏ, ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ค๐ข๐ฏ ๐ง๐ช๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ต๐ณ๐ข๐ท๐ฆ๐ญ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ, ๐ช๐ฎ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ด๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ด๐ฆ๐ญ๐ง ๐ช๐ฏ ๐ญ๐ฐ๐ค๐ข๐ญ ๐ค๐ถ๐ญ๐ต๐ถ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ด ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ต๐ณ๐ข๐ฅ๐ช๐ต๐ช๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ด, ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ต๐ข๐ฌ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ฑ๐ช๐ค๐ต๐ถ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ด ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ข๐ถ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐ถ๐ญ ๐ด๐ช๐จ๐ฉ๐ต๐ด ๐ด๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ค๐ฐ๐ถ๐ฏ๐ต๐ฆ๐ณ๐ด ๐ข๐ญ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐จ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ธ๐ข๐บ. ๐๐ฉ๐ฆ'๐ด ๐ข๐ฏ ๐ฐ๐ค๐ค๐ข๐ด๐ช๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ข๐ญ ๐ง๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ฅ๐ช๐ฆ ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ญ๐ฐ๐ท๐ฆ๐ด ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ฆ๐น๐ฑ๐ญ๐ฐ๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ฏ๐ฆ๐ธ ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ฅ๐ฆ๐ญ๐ช๐ค๐ช๐ฐ๐ถ๐ด ๐ค๐ถ๐ญ๐ช๐ฏ๐ข๐ณ๐บ ๐ฆ๐น๐ฑ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ช๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ค๐ฆ๐ด. ๐๐ฐ๐ญ๐ญ๐ฐ๐ธ ๐ข๐ญ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐จ ๐ฐ๐ฏ ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ข๐ฅ๐ท๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ต๐ถ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ด ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ซ๐ฐ๐ช๐ฏ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ค๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ท๐ฆ๐ณ๐ด๐ข๐ต๐ช๐ฐ๐ฏ! ๐๐ฐ๐ฏ'๐ต ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ด๐ช๐ต๐ข๐ต๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ถ๐ฑ๐ท๐ฐ๐ต๐ฆ, ๐ญ๐ฆ๐ข๐ท๐ฆ ๐ข ๐ค๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ต ๐ฐ๐ณ ๐ข ๐ง๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฅ๐ฃ๐ข๐ค๐ฌ. ๐ ๐ณ๐ฆ-๐ฃ๐ญ๐ฐ๐จ ๐ช๐ด ๐ข๐ญ๐ด๐ฐ ๐ข๐ฑ๐ฑ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ค๐ช๐ข๐ต๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ต๐ฐ๐ฐ. |