Rust

I have the oddest relationship with life. For the longest time, guidance was one of the things I struggled a lot with. What path am I supposed to walk? Supposed to? How do I succeed in life? What is a success? What is the meaning and purpose of life? Stroganoff. Somehow, I had bought the idea that it was the most important thing to have it all figured out and the fact that I did not have a clue what I was doing hurt every step of the way. Perhaps, those were the wrong questions to ask in the first place.

Life is a series of events strung together by tons of variables affecting each other in unpredictable ways. Some carve their way through life and make the variables work in their favor to get where they are going. Some are explorers and adventurers who take leaps of faith and see where it all leads eventually. The only thing I am carving is pumpkins.

The truths I found for myself seem dark at first glance. What is the first thing that comes to mind when someone says nothing really matters? Does this person need help? Maybe. Sometimes we all need help coping with life. However, those words seem soothing to me. There is a glimmer of hope tucked in them. Nothing really matters! I am having a hard time, my day is shit, I am clueless. Nothing really matters! Might as well let go of what has upset you. Look at the grand scheme of things. Zoom the fuck out! Nothing is worth suffering over especially since our time here is limited. We are here, might as well enjoy it, figure out what makes us happy and throw all the shoulds and don'ts out of the window.



And you know what really makes me happy lately? Raking the fallen leaves. Long walks and silent whispers. Skipping around in meadows. Connecting in the purest ways. Sipping coffee and listening to music loudly. Allowing myself to be silly. Dreaming of strange worlds soon to be explored.