"In any case, making negative attributions - judging someone just evil or an asshole - doesn't really do anything, but breed hatred." This.

People avoid whatever feels uncomfortable to them, but as a result nothing gets solved. It just keeps piling up and gets toxic because of unwillingness to deal with it. Wish people would just stop acting that way, actually communicate and try to understand what really goes on instead of living in delusions and spinning weird explanations of why someone acts the way they act. Ask directly.