Practice simulation

A glimpse of the present: Soldier on. Strawberries on Sunday mornings. Up the hill, down the hill. Too much blood in my coffee stream. Getting in the mood dancing. Less pain, more mobility. Random conversations at the bus stop. Less they know the better. I am trading, I am trading! Miss you. No time. Work, work, steem. Wouldn’t call this sleep. Patience training. Borrowing pronunciation fuck that sounded too Irish.

A friend of mine said to me some time ago you will wonder why you did not do it sooner. Of course, he was right. He is always right. I was stuck at the loop of procrastinating life and decisions. Tortured by anxiety almost all the time. Is it better now? Obviously, I feel absolutely exhausted at the moment. Yet I am way more focused and convinced I can accomplish things I am set out to do. Anxiety is becoming a more rare guest. Even my brother noted you sound chill. I guess I am pretty chill.  

What’s the mindset? Every day is a practice simulation. Every task no matter how mundane, repetitive or frustrating is a lesson. Patience, being humble, being kind, and being the best self to self and others. Failing a lot is a part of the process as well. It is alright to fail as long as aware of the fact. There always will be the next simulation to attempt, do better. Negativity is for weaklings.

One day this will be all worth it.