In limbo, there he stood. His heart was enlightened with fire, but his soul was cloaked in mist. He longed to journey, but he yearned to sit in silence. Eternity was such a long time. That meant too much time to think, too much time to ponder. And way too much time to reflect. And that was the last thing he wanted to do. Whether it was journeying the path or silent rest, he desired a composition of peace and serenity. But he hovered over both and was unsure how to commit to one or the other.
He stared down the trail littered with the tears of those who had gone before him. He knew it wouldn't be easy. He wasn't really looking for easy, though. In fact, he welcomed the notion of a challenge. Everything up to this point was so...meaningless. Or so it seemed. He noted the dried autumn leaves that clung to the twisted trees that framed the pathway ahead, and every so often when one of them snapped off its lifeline, it would dance and twirl in the hollow breeze, drifting this way and spiraling that way, until it rested on the footsteps of the past.
He raised his gaze upwards towards the tops of the trees and regarded them with reverence. He could see the ghost of the noose that he had already chosen for himself in a different dimension that was not far off from the plane he was currently on. He saw the trace of it, its hemp strands protruding out and making it scratchy. He could hear its creaking and could even smell its earthy aroma. He swallowed hard as he 'remembered' what it was like to make that decision in a different time and place. But he also embraced the promise of smooth darkness and tranquil death as he rested at the end of that extorting cord.
Off to one side he noted the cool shade of the trees and how the sun didn't pierce through them even where there was a gap to do so. It was as if shadows guarded the air over there. Now that he had focused on it, he realized that the air itself was heavy and thick and challenging to breathe in that place. Yet, it was not full of malice or dark strangulation, but it was more like water- it just wasn't meant for a human to thrive within it; only to touch it for a moment to experience it.
Naturally, he turned his attention over to the opposite side and was not surprised to find that the light was piercing through the trees over there, and in contrast to the other side, it seemed to penetrate right through the leaves and even the branches of the trees. It was warm and inviting, but also full of so much exposure; it honored the flames of Truth. There were many secrets and hidden things that didn't want to be exposed to the light, both within himself and within the trees, as well. This light bore elements like the air on the other side, ironically. He was aware that the air was difficult to breathe here, too, but not like it was heavy in the shadows- more like it was alive, on fire or electric, like it had a life of its own. It was intriguing and unsettling.
There was no perfect answer- there was no right or wrong. There were consequences, both negative and positive, for either choice. Both choices were inviting and terrifying. There was peace to be found in all of it and there was torment to adorn his mind no matter what. Because that's life. That's the folly of all of it. He didn't perceive any of it as if it were a joke or anything to be taken lightly. But he knew that everything would be alright no matter what he decided to do. So with kaleidoscopic hopes in his mind, ancestral wisdom chanting in his thoughts, and echoes of desire in heart, he took one step, then another, and then another until he reached the place where he would take hold of his life, his destiny, and do what he knew he ought to do. He manufactured and designed his fate for himself. And there in that spot his existence bore his own decision...
