(Sorry to rain on anyone's parade with this dark crap. But we all go through it I guess. Some more than others. )Don't worry. I'm a man whose life has transformed me through adversity, but I continue with the life God has given me. I believe everything in this life happens for a reason; there's always something that, despite the hardships, makes us feel better. My mother used to say that God gives us trials according to what each of us can bear.
A big hug.