Recently, I have become the target of a smear campaign over a sequence of events that has already been corrected. Somehow, despite my best efforts, I became the focal point of hatred for people who I trusted with my most fragile self. Here is what I learned in the mean face of friendships that go sour.

1. Money Changes The Heart - even in the noblest of leaders.

No matter how safe you feel, when it comes to money, people see with different eyes then the eyes of friendship. The view becomes distorted when money is involved. If there is a deficit or a loss, sometimes people get very paranoid and mean.

If you are not prepared for a metaphorical lashing it really hurts, and stings.

2. Angry people might use their power to hurt those they feel have done them wrong.

When I screw up I tend to accept bad treatment as “deserved punishment”.

Not anymore. I have existed as a groveling and apologetic underling for a long enough and it sucks. People lose more respect for you when you act as a willing doormat. Nobody wants to eat shit on a spoon. Nor do they deserve to be fed that crap. Stand tall and never let anyone string you along. If someone tries to drag you through the mud to give you what they think “you deserve” - be careful. These types of people are the most harmful and venomous at this stage because they aim for the softest point and try to break you.

If someone uses their position of power to force someone to behave a certain way “or else” - it is a form of abuse of power. Guilting someone into action has the same affect. It’s called extortion and it is a crime.

Watch out for these moments because If you don’t take steps to protect yourself you will be vulnerable to becoming what feels like ... a personal belonging or an object for the dominant minded type who thinks you owe them. They may justify ruthless behavior using their anger as the fuel. It can get ugly very quickly. Use caution when deciding just how sorry you are.

Nobody deserves to be bullied.

3. FORGIVENESS IS RARE -

If you have done something regrettable no matter how you try to repair the problems caused by your actions, no matter how sincere you are... often times people don’t care. They aren’t “buying it”. Sadly, if things seem fine and dandy, it isn’t likely that the forgiveness is genuine.

People just don’t care once they feel offended. Especially if your mistake cost them any amount of money or if their is a perceived loss caused by you. Sorry, the truth is... they don’t often really forgive you and they are hiding their animosity. Take cover! Seriously!

Nothing hurts as much as a knife in the back from the people who pretend to forgive you.

It may be time to let the universe carry you to your next project. Seriously. If you meet resistance when trying to walk away, share this article with those people. Blame me. Everyone else does, so you might as well too. 😝

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Last thought: be true to your heart, but remember to protect yourself also. Even if you fuck up royally, you are a human. The fact that you have tried to make up for your misgivings is enough in the eyes of the only judges who matter- and whatever you believe in - lean into those beliefs when you feel abandoned. People will remember what they want to. Don’t let this slow you down. You don’t have to punish yourself anymore! People are not supposed to punish each other.
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Thank you for reading my 3 lessons and I hope it helps you some day!