Chuck Norris talked to himself in his mother's womb. Thank You for reading. Follow @lorenzortega for daily jokes!

The U2 song "Sunday Bloody Sunday" was written to depict the day of the week when Chuck Norris has sex with Irish women. Thank You for reading. Follow @lorenzortega for daily jokes!

Chuck Norris gets 95% in a 50-50 partnership. Thank You for reading. Follow @lorenzortega for daily jokes!

Chuck Norris found out about Conan O'Brien's lever that shows clips from "Walker: Texas Ranger" and is working on a way to make it show clips of Norris having sex with Conan's wife. Thank You

During WWII Chuck Norris was drafted into the Army. He mercilessly roundhouse kicked everyone to death including Ally soldiers. Their resting place is now known as Arlington Cemetery. Thank You for reading.

Swine gets Chuck Norris flu Thank You for reading. Follow @lorenzortega for daily jokes!

A crocodile attacked Chuck Norris while he swam in a Florida river. The same croc was seen at a local veterinarians office the next day attempting to get a set of teeth to replace his, as they were all

If you download more than five images of Chuck Norris, your hard drive will explode. Thank You for reading. Follow @lorenzortega for daily jokes!

chinese people are always squinting there eyes because there afraid if they open them they'll see Chuck Norris Thank You for reading. Follow @lorenzortega for daily jokes!

Chuck Norris is so fast that the GPS speaks to him in the past tense. Thank You for reading. Follow @lorenzortega for daily jokes!

Chuck Norris makes big girls cry Thank You for reading. Follow @lorenzortega for daily jokes!

Chuck Norris doesn't commit susicide, susicide commits him Thank You for reading. Follow @lorenzortega for daily jokes!

Chuck Norris can get a McDonald's Happy Meal at Burger King. Thank You for reading. Follow @lorenzortega for daily jokes!

Chuck Norris' kindergarten has land-mines in the sandpit. Thank You for reading. Follow @lorenzortega for daily jokes!

Whenever people are holding wooden boards, Chuck Norris breaks them in half. Then he breaks the boards. Thank You for reading. Follow @lorenzortega for daily jokes!

Chuck Norris' earlobes can roundhouse kick your face through the back of your skull. Thank You for reading. Follow @lorenzortega for daily jokes!

Chuck Norris delights in having BLT sandwiches for lunch! But understandably his BLT's are made of Barracuda, Leaches & Tarantulas nn buttered Texas Toast. Thank You for reading. Follow @lorenzortega

Chuck Norris and his toothbrush can take on a guy wielding a crowbar. And win. Thank You for reading. Follow @lorenzortega for daily jokes!

Chuck Norris can ride his bike with no handlebars..............or wheels Thank You for reading. Follow @lorenzortega for daily jokes!

Chuck Norris' unicycle is equipped with a windshield, cup holder, Bose Surround Sound Sterio System, beer cooler, flood lights, toilet, ash tray, bunk beds, 60 inch flat screen TV, winch, spare tire, wood