Hello everyone! This is 
It was 18 years ago when I lost my father to cardiac arrest. I was completely lost in thought as the doctor declared him dead on arrival in our community hospital. I never realized how fleeting time can be when you have wasted so much of it. How can he be gone so soon when there were so many things I would have wanted to tell him? How can I go about doing things when I was so used to having him around?
They say time heals all wounds. But I beg to disagree. Time instead gives you the opportunity to look back and go over what could and should have been. It gives you the chance to face your struggle and grieve. I lost not just a father who we usually refer to as the breadwinner of the family. He was more than that. Well, of course, you can understand as I happen to be his only daughter. My father was my first teacher. Even before I learned how to write my first name, I was already singing old good songs in Visayan as he was fond of them. He used to play these tunes in the morning on the cassette and in the early evening, the house would be filled with the songs of Andy Williams, Matt Monroe, Frank Sinatra, and many more played on the stereo turntable. He had a wide collection of mono records of the best vintage singers of all time. I learned to love what he loved most at an early age. It was he who taught me how to love writing and reading as if I was breathing air from it.
I was his everything and I depended so much on it. I was his little girl so vibrant and cheerful. His sudden demise left an overwhelming emptiness in my being and I could not move on from my grief. Yes, I made it an excuse that there is no timeline for a person to get over his grieving. You see, when you are in deep sorrow you seem to be caught up in your own world. Oh, how wrong I was! I should have known better.
When you lose someone so dear, make no mistake of living in sadness for a long time. I owe it to my father to live a bright and glad life as he had lived. The pain of losing him is still great because I love him so, so much. What better way than to show that all-consuming love to other special people I have in my life? I realized there is no end to it and there never, ever will be. I see him through my kids and I felt it is but right not to let pain for such loss obliterate the legacy of love he imparted to me.
Grieving can be a great downside to a love so beautiful. The harder you love, the harder your grief will be. Nevertheless, do not allow grief to envelope you for so long a time. Put yourself back on your feet. Move on, love harder, and love more. For, in the end, love is all that matters.
This is all for now. Thank you for taking the time to read. Have a great weekend, everyone!
Till next post,
All content is mine unless otherwise stated.
