Do you fume when someone cuts you off in traffic? Does your
blood pressure rocket when your child refuses to cooperate?
Anger is a normal and even healthy emotion — but it's
important to deal with it in a positive way. Uncontrolled anger
can take a toll on both your health and your relationships
Ready to get your anger under control? Start by considering
these 10 anger management tips.
Think before you speak
In the heat of the moment, it's easy to say something you'll
later regret. Take a few moments to collect your thoughts
before saying anything — and allow others involved in the
situation to do the same.
Once you're calm, express your anger
As soon as you're thinking clearly, express your frustration in
an assertive but nonconfrontational way. State your concerns
and needs clearly and directly, without hurting others or trying
to control them.
Get some exercise
Physical activity can help reduce stress that can cause you to
become angry. If you feel your anger escalating, go for a brisk
walk or run, or spend some time doing other enjoyable
physical activities.
Take a timeout
Timeouts aren't just for kids. Give yourself short breaks during
times of the day that tend to be stressful. A few moments of
quiet time might help you feel better prepared to handle
what's ahead without getting irritated or angry.
Identify possible solutions
Instead of focusing on what made you mad, work on resolving
the issue at hand. Does your child's messy room drive you
crazy? Close the door. Is your partner late for dinner every
night? Schedule meals later in the evening — or agree to eat
on your own a few times a week. Remind yourself that anger
won't fix anything and might only make it worse.
Stick with 'I' statements
To avoid criticizing or placing blame — which might only
increase tension — use "I" statements to describe the problem.
Be respectful and specific. For example, say, "I'm upset that
you left the table without offering to help with the dishes"
instead of "You never do any housework."
Don't hold a grudge
Forgiveness is a powerful tool. If you allow anger and other
negative feelings to crowd out positive feelings, you might
find yourself swallowed up by your own bitterness or sense of
injustice. But if you can forgive someone who angered you,
you might both learn from the situation and strengthen your
relationship.
Use humor to release tension
Lightening up can help diffuse tension. Use humor to help you
face what's making you angry and, possibly, any unrealistic
expectations you have for how things should go. Avoid
sarcasm, though — it can hurt feelings and make things
worse.
Practice relaxation skills
When your temper flares, put relaxation skills to work. Practice
deep-breathing exercises, imagine a relaxing scene, or repeat a
calming word or phrase, such as "Take it easy." You might
also listen to music, write in a journal or do a few yoga poses
— whatever it takes to encourage relaxation.
Know when to seek help
Learning to control anger is a challenge for everyone at times.
Seek help for anger issues if your anger seems out of control,
causes you to do things you regret or hurts those around you.
