Where was she? My daughter! I have to find my daughter.
“Please watch out for the closing doors.” The monitor in the subway says as it was prepared to leave.
“Amelia! Amelia, where are you?” I look around the subway station for my sixteen-year-old. The subway was rather busy today, children, adults, even the weird ones were here too, and Amelia, where could she have gone?
I walk over to an old couple. “Please excuse me, but did you see my daughter? She’s this height” The couple shakes their head at my description as I go around asking other people in the station, including the weirdos.
Breathe Jessica, just breathe. She’s alright. Amelia’s alright. I tell myself, but I can’t. I can’t just calm down.
I made a very big mistake today, unfortunately we got kicked out of our apartment because I couldn’t pay the rent and now Amelia won’t listen to me, I agree it’s my fault we’re destitute but I can make her happy, running away won’t save her from suffering.
We’ll both have to go through this phase together and just fight the poverty.
“Amelia.” I whisper as I look around and then a soft gasp escapes my lips and a feeling of ease soon flood into me as I spot a girl in the subway, curly brown hair, wearing a leather jacket and headphone.
I start running towards the subway and that’s when the doors shut. “ Open it!! Open the door! Open the door my daughter is in there!” I beg as I bang on the subway doors and Amelia just watches me cry calling out to her.
“Someone help me take this lady away from the subway.”
“Please. Please help me get my daughter out of there, let’s go home Amelia.” I see two men walking over and when I think they want to help bring my daughter out, they grab both of my hands and forcefully pull me away from the subway.
“Jeez woman. you're creating a disturbance, understood? The drunk people we see here everyday is already too much anyway.” The first man says and the other man agrees with him.
“My daughter.” I whisper as I watch the subway which had my Amelia in it move on. “My baby!”
Without a second thought, I get up on my feet as I run out of the subway station. Amelia, I had to meet with Amelia soon enough. She didn’t eat her breakfast, and neither did she shower this morning before we got kicked out.
“ Whoaa lady! Take it easy!” A teenager says when I almost bump into him while running out of the subway station.
“What’d she do?” The girl who was with him asks but I didn’t care to look at them right now. All I cared about was looking for Amelia. I bet the subway would be stopping at another subway station, so I can find Amelia there.
There’s no need to get scared, Amelia is safe. It takes me about thirty minutes to get to the subway station. But when I reach there…when I reach the station… Amelia… she wasn’t… there.
Oh my god. What do I do? Did she head back or did she hide inside the subway. Everyone’s gotten out already, and new people are climbing in, maybe if I mix in with the crowd, they just might let me ride the subway with ‘em.
My daughter may be inside.
As planned, I mixed in with the people entering the subway. I had to find Amelia at all costs. My daughter needed me more than anything and I would be a failure of a mother if I couldn’t be with her.
‘Please Amelia. Please be safe.’ I prayed within me. The only thing helpless me could do. As soon as I’m inside the subway, I start looking around, hoping no one finds me suspicious. I check under the chairs but I don’t see Amelia’s rag doll not to mention her.
Am I at the wrong station? Is Amelia in a different subway?
Oh no, I hope not. “Please watch out for the closing doors.”
“No! No! Wait.....” As I hurry so I can go outside before the doors close, a man puts his feet out so I trip over it and then I fall onto the floor of the subway. “Ouch.“
“Watch where you’re going, lady. Jeez, you just stained my shoes.” The man says with a chortle, and his girlfriend follows.
I don’t have time for this. For them. I drag myself off the subway floor and head back to my seat. The doors are already closed anyway. There’s a lump in my throat that won’t go down, like a word I can’t say.
Where the h*ll are you, Amelia?
Then someone behind me starts singing. Soft. Almost like they didn’t mean to be heard. "Baby, I’m just tryna find my way back home..."
I freeze. Another person joins in, then two, then a whole group. Laughter, harmonies, off-key shouting. I glance over. They're teens. All in merch. Faces lit up like it’s Christmas morning.
A concert. That concert.
The one Amelia used to blast from her room so loud I could hear it through two doors and a wall. The one I always told her was “just noise.” The one I rolled my eyes at. Mocked, even.
God. She loved that artist. She still does. Of course. Of course she’d go. I scramble toward them, heart thudding like it’s sprinting ahead of me.
“Sorry, hey...sorry,” I say, probably louder than I should. “That concert you’re all heading to… where is it?” A girl with glitter on her eyelids looks up. “Evergreen Pavilion,” she says. “Starts in like twenty minutes.”
“I think my daughter’s there,” I say, and I don’t even know why I told her that. It just comes out. I’m breathless. Shaky.
Another girl pulls something from her crossbody bag. “You need a ticket?”
I blink. “I....yeah, but I didn’t mean....I wasn’t asking......” She presses two into my palm like it’s nothing. “We had extras. Friend flaked.”
I stare at her. “You sure?” She grins. “Go find your kid.”
⋆｡°✩
The air near the pavilion is thick. With sweat and music. With that smell of warm popcorn and electricity and youth. I’m pacing outside the crowd, eyes scanning faces. I don’t even know what I’m looking for exactly. Amelia? A shadow of her?
And then, I see her.
Sitting on the sidewalk. By herself. Hoodie up, knees hugged to her chest. Her sneakers are dirty. Her eyes look... tired. And red. I just stop. My heart drops and then claws its way back up. I don’t even know what I’m supposed to say.
“Amelia.” She doesn’t flinch. Just lifts her head slowly.
Her face is a mess. But she’s still the most familiar thing in this whole wild, echoing night. “Mom?”
I nod. My voice cracks. “I… I think we lost each other for a bit.” She gives this sort of shrug, like she’s not sure if she wants to talk or cry or both.
“You really came?” she whispers. I reach into my pocket and pull out the ticket. It’s a little bent now. “Got two.”
She stares at it. “You hate concerts.” I laugh. It’s broken. “Still true. But I think I hate not knowing where you are even more.”
She doesn’t say anything. Just stands. And hugs me. And for the first time in what feels like forever, she lets herself lean into me.
We go in together. No dramatic speech. No perfect closure. Just her hand in mine and the thrum of bass and flashing lights and lyrics we both know but never sang together, until now.
THE END
All images were generated from Meta AI
