I can also say that I often do have reasons for things/actions/positions that I often have little drive to explain to most people. There needs be a compulsion for me to share with another, a sign/feeling to make that effort.

I understand the feeling, it's an aspect of the "free-rider" problem, or perhaps the "prisoner's dilemma".

If one person is reasonable and the other person isn't reasonable, then the reasonable person loses.

I'm just trying to give you some ammo to help point out (in those situations) that the unreasonable person is (EITHER) unreasonable (acting without any reason), (OR) functionally-indistinguishable from an unreasonable person (refusing to reveal their reasons, de facto unreasonable).