This is a nicely chiseled story that reads like a modern Great Gatsby. Very nice ambient world that transports the reader to a world of tangled lives and histories. I do think it's missing some dialogue. The narrator's voice is great, but I think the characters could use some actual dialogue, so we can hear the sounds of the story and their responses to the events. You do a great job of describing this world of lost angels, and I think this makes the story come alive.

They had gone to their favorite bars in the pencil-drawn streets of New York City. While their joyful conversations continued under the dim lights, the noise of the crowd enveloping them was like the coats they wrapped themselves in on a winter day.