RE: RE: Sufferings of a sad soul
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RE: Sufferings of a sad soul

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Great ghost story. I particularly like the environment. I could vividly imagine myself in it, and this enhanced my experience of the story. There are two main comments that I have in regard to structure and plot. First, I noticed that in some instances, you put quotation marks when a character is talking and sometimes you do not. I think it works better if you consistently applied the rule. For example, here's a paragraph from the story:

At first, she was scared, but then she grabbed that hand and pulled it out. No one came out of her pulling, then a voice came, thanking you for freeing me. I was imprisoned here for 200 years and my salvation was fixed to be by your hands.

I think that this would read better if you applied the quotation mark rule in the following manner:

At first, she was scared, but then she grabbed that hand and pulled it out. No one came out of her pulling, then she heard a voice speak.
"Thank you for freeing me. I was imprisoned here for 200 years and my salvation was fixed to be by your hands."

In the second version, the ghost's words are put in quotation and in a separate paragraph, this makes it easy for the reader to follow the story. It's as if you're taking a breath to pause for effect.

My second comment is in regard to plot structure. I find the story very mysterious and I enjoyed how you unraveled the mystery piece by piece. That's why I think that the ending could be streamlined further because it feels rushed with all the information provided in the last two paragraphs. It's better when you show us hints of the truth than when you tell us outright. The very last paragraph could be edited out in a later version as the preceding paragraphs gives us sufficient clues.

Very enjoyable story. Thank you for sharing.

@litguru: Great ghost story. | Ecency