If I ever forget you do not judge me, as the years go by my mind will become clouded, but that does not mean that you are not in my life; on the contrary, you remain and will remain in the center of all my emotions and feelings: you are in my heart.
I don't expect you to believe that it is clouded by thinking only negative things; I just want to open a space to select those special moments for me; just when I was happy and thus escape from the pain that deep inside me and that is there present called reality.
Even if I can't find the right words to address you, even if I can't complete a full sentence, listen to me carefully. I know this will be extremely difficult, you are living in the day to day and my mind lives in the past.
I know that everything I am telling you seems so strange to you but isn't life? Strange, complicated, fast, beautiful, unfair; so many adjectives to describe it; all depending on the point of view you see it from.
I can't change what happened, I can't avoid the pain, nor the fact of falling into it again and again but, I would wish with all my strength that you don't go through what I went through. Remember that my wish is for you to be better in all aspects of life, that's why I hope you express your feelings freely, never keep it to yourself: "I could have done it; however I didn't", or "I didn't dare to say what I thought". You don't have the slightest idea of how much a few words that could have been expressed but for some excuse were not said. Among so many things I need to ask you to externalize your pain, you are never alone; tell a friend, shout it out, hit something with all your strength but get it out of your life. This evil has caused more damage than death itself.
Words from a mother with Alzheimer's disease to her children.
