It was cold and black, and the ripples moving across its surface slowly came to an end as the breath being blown onto it stopped.
As if for the first time John realized he was holding his coffee cup, pressed against his lips in order to blow on it - only - it was cold now. “How long have I been sitting here?” he wondered, shaking his head to stop the onslaught of thoughts that would lead to another trance. John looked around at the empty diner/petrol station he was sitting in for a distraction. The red pleather seats and white tables set off an odd mood in him that he couldn't shake. He hated the red seats, “they’re too bright.” he thought as he fought off the association the colour red held with blood, and how he knew it to be false. Turning his head away from the seats to the window he saw his pick-up truck parked outside in the rain. Once bright sunflower yellow and in mint condition – now, dented in the front, with a cracked windscreen and less bright somehow. He remembered when he got it; he was young, just turned 18. His Dad had pretended that he forgot it was John’s birthday and last day of school.
“…didn’t you finish yesterday?”, his father said.
“ no! My last exam is today and we’re going to be late!” he yelled back.
Smiling, his father looked up from his newspaper and said, “what do you mean ‘we’?, I’m not going anywhere.”
Dumbstruck by all the thoughts of how missing his last exam would influence his life, John just stood there gaping at his father’s unconcern. Suddenly his father burst out laughing, “You should see your face” smiling, he tossed a set of keys to John, “It’s parked outside, Happy Birthday.”
- Realizing that he had let his thoughts drift again, John forced himself to stare at his car but a trail of a thought remained in his mind, “it seemed only yesterday.”
The rain fell hard on his cracked windscreen, washing away the signs of the night and bringing forward the thoughts he was trying to ignore. At another time, his wasting too much thought on a girl would have made him laugh, - “...Only yesterday” an echo of a lost thought whispered- but tonight he could do nothing else but think of a girl; the girl. Her.
The way her hair blew across her face as she spun round to see him and the look she gave him as he left her. Everywhere he looked he found a constant reminder of her, and all he could think to himself was, "I just left her".
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It had been a hard day for Cassey; her boyfriend had walked out of their two room apartment and left her with the cat. "I hate cats", she thought to herself as she had tequila. In truth she didn't hate cats; she had always preferred dogs but didn't have anything against cats in general - until she got left with one she didn't want to begin with, which now only served as a constant reminder of how she just got dumbed. Worst of all, the damn cat seemed to feel the need to rub it in by constantly rubbing against her and meowing for companionship as if it, were the one that got left behind. Cassey lifted her shot glass to the air to indicate her need for another tequila; her friends had left the bar ages ago, as had most of the crowd, but she had remained to show them all that she was ok. Her thoughts drifted to her ex again, “You will not cry!” she firmly thought at herself. She was now determined; determined not to cry, determined to swallow each tear and chase it with alcohol and determined not to be that girl who falls to pieces just because of a boy. The bartender looked to be on the verge of cutting her off, but seeing as it was nearly closing time, he just eyed Cassey as he poured her another shot. Cassey sat there in a drunken haze and viewed her surroundings through her fringe that fell over her eyes. The bar was dim, despite every light being on, the two pool tables that held most of the space available to the venue, stood there empty and player-less. The single doorway stood open to the world displaying the road outside and the empty night. It was raining. Cassey liked the rain, at the moment it suited her feelings and in general she found the sound calming. She thought of her ex – “well, HE didn’t like the rain”. She remembered reading once that you either felt the rain or got wet, “obviously you always get wet in the rain”, she thought. “You either enjoy the moment, and appreciate the rain, or you get wet and fail to see the beauty in it.” a second thought retorted.
Cassey appreciated beauty, she liked the rain and standing in it, she enjoyed stopping to take in scenery on long trips and took pause for sunsets. She liked views from mountains and felt that the sea called to her. She loved Sunflowers and the way they looked toward what was important to them, she loved animals of all kinds, except cats. Right now, she hated cats. Her stupid ex didn’t like those things but he used to like that she liked them, and she liked that he liked her liking them. The barman rang the bell for last rounds and Cassey came back to the real world. She got herself another shot and took it with a sense of pride as she had held her liquor all night and was past the point of laughing at herself for no reason, which was exactly where she felt she needed to be. She had given up two years of her life for a man that no longer loved her and now she felt lost in the fact that she had given everything to someone, and no longer felt whole when he left with it all. As Cassey stood up, the world changed. She had been sitting and drinking in the same seat all night and her body wasn't fond of the sudden change of perspective. The world spun and tilted on her every step as she made her way outside. Cassey realized that the rain she liked so much was pouring down in a glorious heap, soaking every part of her almost instantly. As the hurtling world flung itself around her she smiled, "this was it" she thought, the perfect feeling of calm that came with the rain; she found herself wanting to dance and just explode with appreciation of every droplet that fell on her face as she spun, arms spread out, like she did as a child. Spinning out into the road, spinning with the world, with her head and thoughts and staring up into the darkened sky as she spun. She stopped, her arms still spread wide and closed her brown eyes to feel the purity of the moment. As she opened her eyes again she noticed the increasing light, she spun round and saw the bright sunflower yellow pick-up truck and as her eyes opened wider it slammed into her, she spun upon its bonnet and cracked the windshield then drifted over the top to plummet onto the road behind. John jumped out of the truck, running toward her mumbling his lack of sight and the various swearwords that followed his utter panic. He got to her limp body and knelt beside her as the rain collected a puddle of blood before her face. He asked if she was ok, he pleaded for her to be ok and lifted her into his arms screaming at her to be ok as tears joined the rain falling onto her face. He held her forehead to his as he closed his eyes and whispered, "I'm sorry", he moved her head back and looked into the deep brown that stared back at him, " I'm so, so sorry", then he left. Cassey stared out onto the road on which she lay and into the puddle before her, it was cold and black, and the ripples moving across its surface slowly came to an end, as the breath being blown onto it stopped.
