There I was today, back at work, for the first time after a year and two months passed. I couldn’t sleep well last night as I was already at work in my mind and I felt restless. How would my co-workers welcome me after such a long period, what is the current situation at work, rush or peace, what kind of work challenges would I face? What would be my work duties now, are my duties the same as before? What are the expectations for me and what expectations do I have for others?
I know, I shouldn’t have been worrying about those things but as much as I wanted to sleep tight, my thoughts kept circling in my mind over and over again playing different scenarios. I didn’t have a problem with waking up as I actually wasn’t much sleeping. Luckily, I only had to gather myself and leave. I didn't have to prepare my kid for daycare this time.
Now that I know how my day went, I realized how unnecessary it was to be that anxious. My day was easygoing, my co-workers welcomed me warmly and I could spend some time with everyone to catch up a little. I could easily follow everything that’s going on even after one year of absence and I became very excited about changes that happened last year and are about to happen next.
On my way home, I was confused about how drastically my expectations were different from the reality. Whose fault is that? Only mine. Even without noticing, I’ve set these huge expectations for myself and for the rest of the world. It led to what? This time it led to a nice surprise but how many times not achieved expectations upset us?
From this day on, I’ll try to loosen my grasp a little. I’ll try to go with the flow when there is nothing I can do or should do. I’ll try not to worry beforehand and try not to set expectations when they are clearly not needed.
Lindiry
