Everywhere I look
All the corners, every nook
Nowhere to be found
None, even a single sound.
Longing for the voices
Missing the soothness
Dying to hear them
Even in a dream.
How do i miss them
Only I can tell
Intense, immeasurable
Wishing for the impossible.
Teardrops flowing
On a night with no stars shining
In a river without water running
A story with no happy ending.
God, bring them back just once
Let me feel their warmth Lord, please grant馃檹
My heart' s full of love for them but they're gone
I regret all the wrongdoings that I had done.馃槩
Have anyone ever experienced losing lovedones in a span of two years? I did馃槩,with my parents and the pain is unbearable. I lost my mother on December 26, 2019, right after Christmas and this rhyme is specially made for her second year anniversary in heaven. She was my superwoman, with all the superpowers of all the superheroes you could name. For countless reasons I ran out of thinking. Moms are the greatest person in most of us, apology for dads who only comes next馃槉. Maybe its because of the authority they impose or its the way we look up at them. I am a Dad's girl I admit, but there are things I'd rather refuse telling him unlike Mom. On my 40's, and already a mom of a nineteener, I still long to sleep on the warmth of my mother's embrace, and I did that when given a chance. When I'm sick its my mom's care that I want. Having problems? It's my mom I ran to and her advise are enough to assure and calm me. Losing her was my biggest misery. She breathe her last literaly in my arms, in my embrace and its way more painful than being cut by a knife. The memory left a heavy heart, a shattered soul馃槩馃槩.
The second blow happened recently, we have yet to recover losing our mother but then again God has taken our father away from us. August 28 of this year, on my son's 19th birthday when Tatay left. Imagine the pain especially to my son, he would always remember his Lolo's passing on his birthday for as long as he live. My dad has an Alzheimer's Disease diagnosed 5 years ago. I dont know the clinical explanation of his memory loss, he was just 72 years old that time. And 5 years after, his condition went bad, though he didn't go bedridden for long. Taking care of him was very tough. ( I will make another story about my journey taking care of him). But I never consider it as a sacrifice, I did it for love. I went through sacrificing not seeing my son's growing up for five years. Since our home is in another Province far from my parents'. I put to mind that my parents wouldn't live long enough, and that I still have enough time to cope up to my son and husband. I am so thankful to them and to God for the gift of understanding.
Now both of them are in heaven, painful as it is, atleast I don't have a single regret taking care of them both. I know I did my best to let them feel treasured. I am crying all throughout writing this story. I miss them, and I envy those who still have their parents with them. My advice, let your parents feel loved while they stil can. Tell them all the appreciations while they still can hear. While its not yet too late. God bless all the parents out there. Thank you for taking time reading my story. Till my next one鈾ワ笍