Hi, I’m Lenny the Gargoyle. Today I ran 10,915 steps around a giant chessboard. I knocked over all the pieces so that means I won. Pro Tip: Gargoyles can move in any and all directions on a chessboard.

Hi, I’m Lenny the Gargoyle. Today I ran 19,236 steps into the sunset. It was so hot that my camera melted so I am unable to publish a photo with today’s report. Pro Tip: Always keep the receipt when you

Hi, I’m Lenny the Gargoyle. Today I ran 6,358 steps around the world. I can take very big steps if I want to. Pro Tip: Throw everything you’ve ever heard about baby steps out the window. You’re an adult

Hi, I’m Lenny the Gargoyle. Today I ran 6,269 steps up Mt. Sinai and I slapped Moses right in the face. Pro Tip: Stop trying to change the course of history, you dick. Well, that’s all for now. Thanks

Hi, I’m Lenny the Gargoyle. Today I ran 26,831 steps to the moon and back. That’s 26,831 small steps for gargoyle, 26,831 giant leaps for gargoylekind. Pro Tip: If you’re thinking about running to the

Hi, I’m Lenny the Gargoyle. Today I ran 29,995 steps and now I’m so tired that I don’t have any energy left to add a picture to this post. Sorry about that. [Edit: picture added after a good night's sleep,

Hi, I’m Lenny the Gargoyle. Today I ran 12,965 steps up and down some steps. Little by little, inch by inch. By the yard it’s hard, by the inch what a cinch. Pro Tip: Never stare up the stairs, just step

Hi, I’m Lenny the Gargoyle. Today I ran 6,744 steps in the wrong direction right down the middle of a one-way road. I’m happy to report that no one was hurt, except for all the drivers who honked at me.

Hi, I’m Lenny the Gargoyle. Today I ran 14,799 steps to the edge of the world to watch the sun complete its daily journey around the earth and revel in the spectacle of ships sailing away to their doom.

Hi, I’m Lenny the Gargoyle. Today I ran 9,893 steps with knives. I know that most people aren’t allowed to run with knives because their moms told them not to, but I am a gargoyle and I can do whatever

Hi, I’m Lenny the Gargoyle. Today I ran 35,782 steps in search of ideas but unfortunately none of the Idea Trees were in season so I just went back home and got drunk. Pro Tip: Whiskey is a great idea

Hi, I’m Lenny the Gargoyle. Today I ran 5,632 steps to Elon Musk and I slapped him right in the face. Pro Tip: Stop tweeting about crypto, you dick. Well, that’s all for now. Thanks for reading, and have

Hi, I’m Lenny the Gargoyle. Today I ran 11,966 steps to the nearest mall and then I ran up all my credit cards to the max. I bought all kinds of great stuff and then I ran back home and unboxed it all.

Hi, I’m Lenny the Gargoyle. Today I ran 20,154 steps to the beach. After spending a couple hours enjoying the stunning, otherworldly scenery and basking in the unmatchable sound of anguished souls screaming

Hi, I’m Lenny the Gargoyle. Today I ran 18,125 steps to my local library because I support self-improvement and learning and community in general. I had a lovely time there and I’m so glad I went. I doubt

Hi, I’m Lenny the Gargoyle. Today I ran 13,068 steps in the rain. What a horrible feeling, I'm grumpy again. I'm glaring at clouds so dark up above. The sun left my heart and I'll never find love. Let

Hi, I’m Lenny the Gargoyle. Today I ran 15,912 steps to the nearest Amazon warehouse, welded all the doors shut, and then set it on fire. That’s what they get for leaving my package on the maroon deck

Hi, I’m Lenny the Gargoyle. Today I ran 15,722 steps with my pants on fire. Fortunately I have balls of steel so it wasn’t really a problem. Pro Tip: First-degree burns are only real if you allow them

Hi, I’m Lenny the Gargoyle. Today I ran 17,525 steps to the redwood, to the redwood, to the redwood redwood tree. When I got there I turned around and discovered that some other runners had followed, followed,

Hi, I’m Lenny the Gargoyle. Today I ran 17,236 steps through a lightning storm. Try as he might Zeus was unable to strike me down because I am way faster than lightning. Pro Tip: If you ever find yourself