Yoruba people live in the south western part of Nigeria. They number about thirty million people .The Yoruba people are very ceremonious indeed, they celebrate every event from birth to grave. They are very lively and homogeneous in nature ,but let me focus on the traditional marriage in among the Yoruba people.
Marriage is one of the important ceremonies in Yoruba land. The people are traditionally polygamous in nature except for the educated elites who practice monogamy. Marriage ceremony itself can be divided into three stages. They are the premarriage stage, introduction and the actual marriage ceremony. Even those who ignore traditional marriage cannot but undergo some certain traditional steps before their marriage can be complete.
The first step is when a young man sees a lady of his choice ,Then he will inform his own father who will in turn contact a respectable member of the lady’s family to break the news. This is behind the stage action as the two of them [the lover]cannot face each other to utter a word. After the contact, if the latter’s family agrees, then the two will now see talk to each other for the first time. At this stage the family of the boy will bring a gourd of palm wine with three heads of kolanut to the lady’s family. The acceptance of this gift is an indication that the girl has agreed to marry the boy.Regularly,the family of the boy goes to help the ladies family to farm.
After some years,then comes the introduction .The introduction to the would be spouse in itself is a geat ceremony when the family of the man comes with a large number of people to that of the lady.They will bring with them a lot of things which are traditionally symbolic.These include yam tubers,salt,fruits,palmoil, alligator pepper,kolanut and so on.The most symbolic of the gift are kolanut
The family members of the man are introduced first while those of the lady follow. The family of the bride prepares a special delicacy like pounded yam with bush meat to feed their guest.Here the lady is formally asked whether she will marry the man thrice.
if she say yes ,the whole family of the groom ,irrespective of the age ,will prostrate flat on the ground thrice.This is an indication that the begged the parent before she was given to them.The actual marriage ceremony lasts seven days.Usually in the night ,the bride may not be aware ,she would be tempted to come out of her house and the special age grade grip her and carry her up in the sky.if she does not struggle with them,they allow her to walk on he rown till she reaches the husband house but if she proves recalcitrant,they punish her severally before they get to the husband house.
The following morning, a large number of housewife from the brides family will bring her personal effects for her ceremony.The new wife is to enjoy several days of grace ,during which she cannot do anything by custom.The bathe her and feeds her as wel.The bride dances while the groom too dances,it is a daily affair.
On the third day of the marriage ceremony,the groom sleeps with bride for the first time.If the bride is a vergin,some cotton wool is used to soak the blood of virginity and send to the bride family.Verginity is a pre condition to honouring father and mother inlaw in the olden days.A lot of gift are sent to show that the parents kept their daughter intact,but if not a vergin ,disgraceful gift such as half filled keg of palmwine ,half filled match box are sent to to the brides family ,a symbol being over used before given them.On the seventh day the bride dances with large number of admires from her husband house to the fathers house.
Another feast is made by her parents to entertain the large crowd that follow her.This is supposed to be her last journey to the fathers house.This time she carries all her personal belongings to her husband place at night when shes going back.It is customary that on her return she should never meet her husband at home.It is an age long tradition which has no rational explanation.
In conclusion,the traditional ceremony,if it well handed ,is by far more interesting than the modern wedding which is common in Africa.In Yoruba land, a woman does this once in her life time ,whereas the man can do it as many time as he wish as polygamy is the order or the day in traditional Yoruba society.
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