I spent a few hours outside yesterday chatting with friends. It's something I enjoy doing, and unlike we used to do, I started a topic about times when people have tried discouraging or talking down something we've always dreamt of, and I mean great things.
This topic came up while I was thinking about how someone I called a friend tried stopping me from going for the NYSC program. It was a dream we both shared, but life happened to her. She didn't become my enemy; we are still friends, but I later reflected on the whole thing because I could have just followed her advice and regretted it.
I did more listening during the conversation, and my case wasn't a serious one compared to others experiences. I was surprised when one of the corper's said she had the opportunity to travel abroad for studies when she was younger, but someone discouraged her mom from taking the opportunity even though it was her dream.
The excuse was that the girl was too young and might not get proper supervision living with a family member abroad. Her mother took the advice and regretted not taking that opportunity for her daughter.
The story got me wondering what pleasure people derive from discouraging their friends or families when trying to achieve something great in life. We've encountered people like this at various times in our lives, but who should really be blamed, the person who gave the advice or the person who took it?
Frankly speaking, I would have regretted taking my friend's advice, and it would have been left for me to deal with it, just like the corper's mother is doing today, because that opportunity never showed up again.
One lesson in all of this is how we handle what people tell us. There are pieces of advice that present themselves as terrible ones, and we can turn them down immediately, while there are those that present themselves as good, but the aftermath will be terrible. These are the pieces of advice we must be very careful of.
Some people would always want to stop our shine; they see the light shining and would just find a way to put it off. Some aren't just happy that you are making progress, while some don't want you to achieve that thing because they couldn't achieve the same thing.
We must not let our guard down in such a situation; it's okay to listen, but it's not a must to take advice. We must think and process every bit of advice before executing it because if we choose the wrong one, the advisor won't feel the consequences like you would—we will have ourselves to blame in the end.
