A common mistake that people make all the time is when they say "Do not take things personally." The fact is that everyone gets a little upset on occasion, it's just how it is. People get upset when they are called names, made to feel small, or when someone points out something they did or something they are. The thing with this advice is that it can leave you feeling even more upset, which in turn will cause you to have even more trouble concentrating on the task at hand - accomplishing your goal. I'm going to talk to you about why you should not take things personally and show you some of the benefits to doing this.
If you want to succeed at anything, it's very important that you learn to not take things personally. In fact, this is the very foundation of confidence. Whenever you are nervous or worried about something, you focus on it. You analyze the situation, and you try and figure out what it is exactly that makes you feel this way. If you keep focusing on this and analyzing it, you will find that the more often you do it, the better you will feel.
This is the process of psychologists calling it the "take things personally" effect. When you keep focusing on other people's feelings, thoughts, actions or words you will notice that you will ultimately become more irritable. This doesn't mean you start yelling and screaming and getting extremely upset about it. It simply means that you understand what sets you off, and that you pay attention when you hear it. If you are trying to accomplish something and you continually hear other people's opinions about it, while you may not completely agree with it, you will be able to focus on the task at hand and really focus on achieving it.
So if you have been told or given the advice "you cannot take things personally," what does this mean? It simply means that you need to focus on others' feelings and actions around you. While you may be able to take things personally when it comes to people you like and those that you dislike, in order to be successful in life, you must first learn to listen to the advice of others. By becoming a good listener and paying attention when they are talking, you will be able to accept the advice they give you and give it serious consideration. People are often advised not to take everything personally; after all, they do it every day. However, if you keep taking everything personally, you will only create an angry and defensive attitude.
The other part of "taking things personally" is ignoring the situation and not responding appropriately. If you ignore the person who told you that you are not good enough, then they are likely to continue to say it. In the same way, if you respond to their negative words with anger, you are only setting them up for more hurtful words to be said. Instead of ignoring their words, acknowledge them politely and turn away from the person when they are talking. This will show them that you are willing to hear what they have to say but do not allow them to make you angry.
When you hear or see something that you don't like, do not take things personally. Instead, find out why the other person made that comment. Did they misunderstand you? Perhaps you said something improper, causing them to misinterpret you as saying something else you did not mean. Once you understand the underlying cause of the comment, you will become immune to such attacks and will be able to avoid them.
Another useful method is to not respond to the attack. This is useful when you are in a public place where you could be easily attacked by someone. You can simply turn around and walk the other way if you feel safe and see no reason for being bothered. If you respond, you give the other person an opportunity to attack you again without having to explain yourself or defending yourself.
Although many people find it hard to ignore personal attacks, it is your responsibility to protect yourself from them as much as possible. Make sure you don't let them come at you and make you an easier target. If possible, just ignore them and move on.
