Growing up, I remember two distinct sounds, the sound of my ancestors and the sound of assimilation. My mother being an immigrant from Jordan, a strict culture rich country, loved to play loud Arabic music all the time. My father on the other hand, immigrated from Lebanon, a country that idolized western culture, loved to play a pantheon of western music. As a child I loved it, because music was the only real constant in my busy and ever changing life. It was a way for people around me to express how they felt. I knew as a child that there was so much more behind music, it gives us the power to communicate, bond, and grow as individuals. Music becomes an integral part of our past, present and future.
My childhood years were influenced by songs and music from my father's side, such as Pink Floyd, Metallica, Alice in Chains, and Roberta Flack, just to name a few. While going to school I realized that the music I listened to had an impact on the people I befriended. Which inspired one of my longest and still standing friendships. I remember days that I'd go over to my friend's house, or she'd come over to mine, and we'd play Michael Jackson songs all day while dancing to them trying to imitate Michael Jackson himself. We'd sit there and change from artist to artist or genre to genre just dancing and laughing our days away.
As I got older and started to become curious with my ancestry, my mother arranged for me to go on a trip to the Middle East. It was the perfect way to become submerged in the culture and music. While staying in Jordan, I remember the specific sounds, melodies and tunes I heard. People there use music to celebrate every occasion, just like we do here in the west. Whether it was music coming from someone's stereo or music being played on an instrument, there was music constantly filling my life. When relatives played music, I felt all the love and joy they wanted to express. They'd sing and dance to the music while smiling and laughing. The laughter, smiles and joy from my family stuck with me. I can still hear it, and recall the happiness in their faces. When I came back to the states I had felt a little odd listening to Arabic music around some of my friends. Some didn't like it, while others just tolerated it. It made me feel like Middle-eastern music was a secret link or language between me, my family and my ancestry.
At this point in my life my taste in music is very eclectic. I constantly find myself listening to different genres of music, some from different cultures, while still being accepting of other types of music as well. I have come to the conclusion that music is a form of expression, a language by itself, regardless of what part of the world it comes from, or what type of instrument its played on. Music is the non-verbal language used by my soul and many other souls to express our emotions. Music can explain how a person feels singularly and it can also reflect the overall mood or atmosphere of a situation.
Music is a pull towards my inner self. It's something that I can go to, to express how I feel about something. If I feel my heart pull towards a happy song, I know that I'm happy with everything going on or something is making me happy. It triggers a slew of happy memories and totally affects my mood. My thought process works with every type of feeling/emotion/ situation such as heartbreak, love, bliss, tranquility, hurt, understanding, etc. Music is my heart being poured out through melodies. It is a way for me to express how I'm feeling without communicating. If you saw my playlist, you would see me: you would see all of my heartbreaks, my happiness, my inside jokes, my memories, and the people that I love. Music is everything to me and music is every emotion inside of me.
