There's more to this than just a tranquil image of an old-looking brick-wall finished house...
It was a solace image of a home built amidst the tranquility of the wilderness. Behind that ancient concrete arc is where my worry-free childhood runs wild and free. With all the greeneries around, giving me a calm shelter from all the chaos of the world I still haven't completely explored. A brick-wall finished concrete house that seems to have withstood quite a number of the test of rough times and has created a hundred years of beautiful memories inside. A place I could always go home to and pacify my physically-exhausted self after a hard day of play with my Mama and her warmly-served home-cooked meal waiting for me. Or a haven I could run to after the mischievous child in me got me badly wounded from a bike crash and just needed my Papa's hug to make everything alright. An unexplainable feeling of void for a place I long to call home, so near, yet so far. That feeling would strangely pinch every time I am having glance at this piece every time.
Those were the melancholy sounds that softly plays music in my head - a song I do not know what to call exactly as I stare at this painting.
It was one of the many lockdown paintings that kept me intact with my sanity when the whole world was crumpled with fear and anxiety due to the widespread contagious and deadly covid 19 virus during the pandemic last 2020.
The chaotic and busy lives of people have been slowed down for a while. For a moment, it seemed like it has stopped. Everyone was not allowed to come out. There were travel restrictions everywhere which refrain everyone from going to places. Everyone was strictly instructed to stay at home. And everyone had no choice but to deal with boredom and find the light amidst those darkest hours.
And during those depressing moments, art has been with me - keeping me positive (not with covid though) and keeping me productive as well.
During the two-month lockdown, what else would someone with a passion for art do? In between getting kilig over watching K'dramas (Lol) or being swept away (everytime) by Hayao Miyazaki's timeless Ghibli movies, yes I painted. Glad I did not succumb to tempting games of procrastination and that I was able to paint a total of 15 paintings in that span of two months, I guess.
And with my reference image taken from John Magne Lisondra, one of them is this;
Until recently, I had random images and words I stumbled upon while my idle time was spent browsing on Facebook.
So that feeling is what it's called.
Hiraeth
(n.) a homesickness for a home to which you cannot return, a home which maybe never was; an intense yearning to be somewhere you are not; the nostalgia, the yearning, the grief for the lost places of your past
I do not want to focus on all its negative definitions. The nostalgia - I guess it's more on this. It's a glimpse of those happy moments back in the good old days. It's that beautiful feeling that takes me back to that old house where I grow up, together with my childhood dreams.
It's a nostalgic glimpse of those days when life was all about crazy games, laughing over silly stuff, and crying over the toys left unpurchased. Those days when I could get lost in the forest and at the end of the day, find myself going home to Mama and Papa's loving bosom. It may lack all the expensive things, but surely it was abundant with all the happiness money can't buy. Framed in that image are the fragments of my heart - blissfully reliving the past.
This painting - in all its shades and shadows of dramatic nostalgia, is home.
