Privacy vs care: finding the balance

We all know that privacy is one of the fundamental human rights and everyone deserves their personal space. This also applies to the family setting where all members of the family are free to share whatever is troubling them or keep it a secret. But on the other hand, respecting privacy too much can lead to a situation where someone might be passing through something and the rest of the family wouldn't even know. It's even worse when you consider how detached the world is today, thanks to things like smartphones and social media.

People now spend more time on their phones and laptops today rather than with other humans. Some people can be in the house all day with their siblings and they won't even talk to each other, everyone is in their room pressing their phones and only coming out occasionally to get food or water. In such a setting, it becomes harder every day for them to know what is going on with one another. But there's also another scenario where they are very open with one another.

I mean, even though they appear to always spend time on their phone, whenever one of them has something exciting or bothering them, they don't hesitate to share it with the others. There's also another scenario where the family are always spending time together but yet they don't know what is going on in each other's life because they are all keeping it a secret. I know it sounds confusing but the point I'm trying to make is that there's no one shoe fits all when it comes to this sort of thing; balancing privacy and care.

It really does depend on the person or people involved. Some families are very close-knit and are very good at communication, so no matter how distant they might appear to be, they all know what is happening with everyone and when someone is in danger. On the other hand, we have families that are not very close and even when they stay under the same roof, everyone just keeps to themselves. My family is the close-knit type and every one of us has a role to play when it comes to keeping tabs on one another.

Whenever anyone has something bothering them, based on the type of problem, they know who to tell about it. My siblings usually share their technical or financial problems with me to find a solution but if it's an emotional problem, I'm the last person to know 😅 Because of how me and my siblings grew up, one or more people always know when one of us is in trouble and we usually try to solve the problem without involving our parents; they have their own problems to worry about after all.

Sometimes my siblings won't directly say they have a problem but I can tell there is one just from their mood and the questions they ask. For example, one of my sisters came to me one day and started asking about ponzi schemes. From the questions she asked, I already knew that she invested in one and from her mood, it was obvious that she had lost some money. "How much did you lose?" That was the question I suddenly asked and she said 50k, also adding that it's our dad's money.

Well, there was no need to tell our dad about it and she had to replace the money with her 2 months salary. One thing I have realized over the years is that striking a balance between privacy and care is very easy when there is a strong bond. I mean, you don't even have to do much and the person will always open up to you when they are in danger. That is the result of years of mutual trust and effective communication. Before we had phones, I and my siblings always spent time together and developed a strong bond. So, no matter how technology tries to prevent us from spending time together, that bond is always there.

Yes, boundaries are very important and none of us invade one another's privacy because there has never been any need to do that. We maintain open communication and whenever someone is facing a problem they can't handle alone, they always speak up rather than bottling it up. They don't even have to let everyone know, like I said earlier, everyone has a role to play in my family and certain problems are best suited for a certain person. There are some problems my sisters discuss only amongst themselves because they don't see a need to tell me while there are some that they let only me know.

Then there are problems that everyone except my parents knows (like my sister's ponzi scheme issue). Whenever one of us decides to hide a problem, then it's something that we probably could solve on our own and there's no need to let someone else know. But most times even if that is the case, the urge to let someone know will always be there and I always like sharing my problems with my family, probably because I don't have many friends 😅 and besides, if you don't share your problems with your family, who then would you share it with?

Thanks for reading