Have you ever gone to a party, or a work function, and found yourself wondering what to say to the person next to you? What if you're in the middle of a conversation and someone asks a question that you don't know the answer to? Or what if someone tells a funny story, but there's nobody else around who will laugh along with them?
Some of us have been there: you're at a party or talking to someone in person, and suddenly the conversation goes from good to bad in a split second. You try to salvage it, but it never works out. What went wrong? The truth is that the best conversations are the ones that don't feel like work.
You know what I'm talking about: those conversations that come naturally to you, and your coworkers, and family members, that make you feel like you're just having a fun conversation with someone who's super smart and interesting. When you talk to other people, your tone of voice and choice of words can have a huge impact on how they respond to you.
If you're trying to get someone to do something; like helping you out with a task or chore, you want them to see it as something worth doing. You don't want them to feel like they have no choice but to comply with your request. And if you've got an argument with someone, their attitude about what happened will depend heavily on how they hear what happened.
This is why having better conversations is so important, it can make or break a relationship or even change how things turn out in court! But it doesn't stop there: good conversation skills also help with your social life by making interactions more fun and fulfilling for everyone involved. If you're looking for ways to improve your skills at talking to people, I have got you covered! Here are some tips:
Ask questions! If someone starts talking about something interesting, don't be afraid to interject with your own curiosity, it will make the conversation flow more smoothly. Plus, asking questions shows that you're interested in what they have to say. It also helps them feel like they're sharing worthwhile information with someone who cares about their perspectives and wants them (and their ideas) heard.
Be interested in what they have to say. It sounds simple, but it's amazing how many people don't listen when someone is trying to explain something. So pay attention! When they're talking, try and understand what they're saying as much as possible. And then tell them so they know they have been heard
Make eye contact! You don't have to look directly at them, just make sure that you're looking at them when they talk. It shows that you're paying attention and listening intently. You should also be mindful of your body language when talking with others, it can have a huge impact on how people perceive you.
Don't speak too quickly. When you're on the spot, try to think about what your next sentence will be before you say it, that way you will have more time to react and respond appropriately. Just stay patient and don't expect an immediate response when someone is answering your question or making a point.
But what If you're shy or don't feel like talking, that's okay! I also have some tips to help you get over your anxiety and start having conversations, but you must be willing to come out of your shell and be more social.
The first thing you need is practice. The more times you try talking, the better you will get at it. You will also realize that there are plenty of people who are willing to talk to you, you just need to take the first step!
Start with simple conversations: "Hey!" or "How are you?" Those two words alone can get your mind moving in new directions and open up dialogue. Then ask questions that lead towards deeper topics: "Where do you work?" "What do you do?" Etcetera!
Don't worry if someone doesn't respond right away; they might be busy or distracted or just not ready yet for a deep conversation (and if they're not ready yet, that's okay). Try again another day or look for another person.
Conclusion
The bottom line: learn to listen. I've found it to be an important skill to have in my life. So instead of thinking about what you are going to say next, or how they will respond, try focusing on what they are saying instead. It will serve you well. By looking at the type of people around us and what they have to say, we can learn a lot about how to approach a good conversation.
Keep an open mind, and observe what makes a great conversation by watching others. You never know what might help you develop conversational skills that win people over. At the very least you'll be able to see when someone's not interested in talking to you, which is half the battle. And finally, no matter who you're talking to or why, just be friendly. The world could use a little more friendliness!
Thanks for reading
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