Someone with very strong boundaries might look crazy or even mean to others with less strong boundaries (and those with an outright agenda). I learned this lesson 4 years ago from a woman with very strong boundaries but it's a lesson I need to learn again and again every year at a deeper level. For example, this woman would block men from the moment they say "hi" in her inbox if they don't say anything else afterwards.
I used to think this was harsh - until I myself learned the patterns of manipulation. Someone who is willing to manipulate in a "small" way is also willing to do it in a big way. I've since learned to recognize these patterns from a mile away.
For example: a woman was telling me about the way her ex-husband was treating her. It took only 2 minutes (maybe even less) before I blurted out, "Oh he's gaslighting you!" She looked puzzled. She asked me, "What?" So I explained what the term means. And she replied in shock, "OMG! This is what he's been doing!" And she shared more of her story. The Reality turned out to be even much worse than I thought! This man had installed cameras all over the house and was trying to frame her for assault charges! WOAH...
So yes - if they are willing to gaslight you, they are willing to do much worse! If they demand tolerance from you even though their own ideology is rooted in complete intolerance - such as circumcision, racism and more, run! Don't walk! Run! Run far away because these people are extremely dangerous!
And so, repeat after me:
"I am not crazy nor stupid nor mean. My boundaries are beautiful. My boundaries need no defense nor explanation. No is a complete sentence.
I AM NOT CRAZY.
I AM NOT CRAZY.
I AM NOT CRAZY."
