Trust, Honesty, Understanding-Communication, Respect and Gratitude. These are the 5 basic foundations of any relationship (in my opinion). Of course, love goes without saying.
Trust
In any relationship, having trust in the other is extremely important. What is the point of being in a relationship when there is no trust between 2 people? Suspicious will definitely arise if there is no trust. Consequently, fights and arguments would happen. What is this trust that I am talking about. Trust what the other says to you, trust that they have your back, trust that they know what they are doing and even if they don’t, they can trust you for telling them off if there is a need to and pull them back on the right road. Trust that whatever they are doing is the best for the both of you or the entire family. Trust that the both of you will take care of each other and will be there in times of need for each other. This does not apply to a romantic relationship only, it applies to all other relationships. With your mom, dad, sister, brothers, friends etc.
Honesty
Being dead ass honest with the other in any relationship can be pretty difficult because we do not know how the other will take it. Or rather we know how they will take it and hence we lie, we do not tell them anything at all or worst, we state the half-truth. Communicate that to the other that next time you will not tell them things or you will lie because of the way they respond/react. However, before you mention that statement be in their shoes and imagine if you would have that same respond/reaction as they had. If you would then is has nothing to do with you being dead ass honest but with the content of what you have mentioned or even the way you tell the truth (your tone and the usage of words). It is very easy to be honest with the other and not bother how they take it. That is not really how any relationship work right. You care for the other and their emotions should matter to you because you guys are in a relationship.
For instance, you be dead honest with your mom and she gets hurts by it, will you not be bothered by how she takes that truth? If you are not bothered then it is your choice. Be in your mom shoes. Nah, I am not asking you to imagine your response or reactions if you are a mom. I am asking you to be in your mom shoes, which basically means literally be your mom with her kind of thinking, personality, belief systems and so on and so forth.
Take on that role already? Now you imagine if your daughter/son comes to you and tells you that exact truth (that same truth that you told your mom). What emotions are you experiencing? Are you upset? Are you hurt? Are you also thankful that they finally said the truth? What is it? And now you decide if you should bother how your mom takes your truth.
There is no point being honest in any relationship when you do not bother how the other handles that. Because that displays how much you really care about their emotions and feelings and secondly it shows that you do not understand them or worst, you do not wish to understand at all (which brings me to my next point). Doesn’t that portray you as a selfish person?
In a relationship, you need to be able to understand the other as well as yourself. Most of the time, understanding happens one way and this will definitely affect the relationship unless loving the other is a state of mind for you. Understanding the other is a way of showing that what they think and feel matters to you a lot (shouldn’t it matter if the other is someone really important in your life?). Understand why they think such and why they behave in certain manners. With that you guys will have a deeper connection and will know how to make them happy, how to put the truth across to them nicely, how to ask them to remain calm etc.
This understanding is an outcome of communication and observation. We can only understand the other when we communicate with them and we observe their actions. Communication is not merely hearing what they are saying but listening to them with the intention of seeing things from their perspective. Every time we communicate with the other we need to be able to listen to understand and not hear for the sake of hearing and reply whatever we want to.
Communicate to understand, observe their actions and emotions, thereafter the level of understanding you guys share will be amazing.
Respect does not mean bowing down to them or touching their feet or any thing of that sought. Respect their individuality. Respect them for who they are. Respect their feelings, emotions, perception and boundaries. Of course, even before you respect them you got to respect yourself first. Everything starts with you first.
Gratitude
Lastly, this is something that I personally learned the hard way. Always, show them your gratitude. Be thankful for the smallest things that they do. By doing such, they feel good and you are happy too. Tell them thank you for taking out time for you, thank you for cleaning the house, thank you for the motivation they gave you, thank you for understanding you, thank you for being dead ass honest even though they knew it would upset you and when you were upset they were there with you, thank you for cooking, thank your for the inspiration, thank you for the scoldings as that brought some sense into you. There is so many things to thank them for. Especially your parents! Don’t forget that as you are growing up your parents are growing old. Thank them in whichever way you can before it is too late.
In my opinion trust, honesty, understanding-communication, respect and gratitude are the very basic values we should have in any relationship in which we give importance to. Build up the foundation and no matter what happens no one can break it unless you guys want to. Before I end this post, loving the other for who they are goes without saying. Love them unconditionally. Love them as you and not the other.
